Something Is Lost
by GCatsPjs
Summary: The Sixth Installment of the Saint In The Shadows Saga
1. Grace

**_The following fic is a continuation of the Saints in the Shadows saga. Fifth in the series, it is recommended that you read at least the first before this one, but it's not completely necessary. In order._**

**_1. Saint In the Shadows_**

**_2. Spaces In Between_**

**_3. Shades of Grace_**

**_4. Shadows in the Sun_**

**_5. Saints, Sinners, and Saviors_**

**_The current chapter takes place approximately 3 and a half years since Shadows in the Sun. That would make Antonia 7 1/2, Parker 14 , and Gracie 3 1/2 ... when Saints, Sinners, and Saviors ended. All italics are considered 'past', and non italics are present. I will attempt to date things where I can._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 20th- <em>**

The colored blocks looked new as the tiny, nimble fingers gripped them with a tender touch, moving them around the table, and into the different bins. Red, green, yellow, orange, and blue, each in their own box, each with their own color. The tiny girl hummed a nearly silent tune as she focused on her masterpiece, and then carefully dismantled it, placing the blocks into their matching bins. She shifted on her small chair, ignoring the person behind her. She knew he had been standing there for a while, but instead kept her attention on the colored blocks.

She grew frustrated, but didn't know why, and puffed out a heavy sigh.

"Grace?" The man's voice behind her was inquisitive, non-threatening. "Grace?"

"No." She whispered. She turned, and looked up at him. "You are not my daddy."

"That's not what everyone else keeps telling me." Booth said, walking around the table, he pulled at one of the tiny chairs. "May I sit down with you?"

Grace shrugged, but kept her attention on the blocks. She picked up the box of red blocks and poured them out onto the table. Booth felt his scars pulling as he attempted to sit in the tiny chair, and it pinched his nerves and made him flinch. "Why do you keep telling me that I am not your daddy?"

"You look like him." Grace said, watching him closely. "You sound like him, you smell like him… but… You are not him." She said softly. "You don't hug like my daddy. You are not him…" She said, scowling at her blocks.

Booth's brow furrowed. She wasn't making his confusion any easier, and why should she? She was just a frightened almost four year old trying to make sense of what she thought she knew. And Booth was trying to make sense of what he should already know.

Two sides of the same coin.

"Grace." Booth said, waiting for the little girl to look at him, she continued to stack her blocks up. Her blue eyes were staring intently at them, focusing on them completely. "Grace?" Booth said, his voice was nearly begging, and still she refused to look at him. "Please, Grace?" He said again.

"I just want my daddy, back." She said, sending her fist flying into the pile of red blocks, they scattered as she jumped from her chair. She stormed across the room to her tiny bookcase and she swung around, book in hand. "You don't even know how to read Fluffy Bunny!" She exclaimed, throwing the book across the room, slamming it into the wall. The worn pages tore from the delicate binding and littered the floor.

Booth rested his head in his hands for a moment, trying to control the strong emotions that were invading his soul. She knew that he wasn't himself; she believed that he was an imposter. He just wished that there was some way that he could grasp onto the person he was before, not for himself but for the little girl with the broken heart.

He carefully lifted himself from the chair and walked toward the torn book. Carefully, he picked the pages up, sliding them carefully between the cardboard covers. He slipped the book into the bookcase and ran his finger down the binding for a moment. With a resigned sigh, he turned and left the little girl's bedroom.

* * *

><p><strong><em>November 22nd-<em> **

_Temperance hurried down the hallway toward her daughter's hospital room. She tried to erase her husband's words from her mind, but they echoed louder with each step._

_He doesn't remember._

_It wasn't just what he said, but the look in his eyes. There was a terror in his eyes that she hadn't seen in years. _

_Fear mixed with shame and deep sorrow. It was difficult for her to breathe as she reached her daughter's hospital room. She pushed the door open and tried to catch her breath, but everything seemed to be twisting her in circles. She felt faint and sick, and knew that if she didn't find someplace to sit down, she'd probably end up on the floor again._

_"Tempe, are you okay?" Max asked, seeing the stunned and petrified look on his daughter's face. "Are you okay?"_

_"No." She said honestly. "No, I'm not okay."_

_"Mommy!" Grace exclaimed, sitting up in her bed. She tried to scramble toward the edge, but Temperance caught her before she made the jump. She scooped her daughter up and rested her in her lap, hugging her against her. "Mommy, you're squeezing me." She whispered._

_Temperance loosened her grip and continued hugging her daughter. She kissed her head and simply rocked her on the bed. She still couldn't get Booth's words from her mind, and the harder she closed her eyes, the clearer she could see his terror filled expression. "I love you, baby girl." She whispered._

_"Did you find daddy?" She whispered. _

_"Mmhm… He's just sleeping. He's very tired." Temperance said, looking to her father. Max's eyebrow lifted and Temperance's expression was filled with pain._

_"Tempe?" Max whispered._

_"He's okay." She said, still rocking her daughter. _

_"Did you talk to him?" Max asked._

_"He's sleeping." Temperance replied, making it very clear that she wouldn't be discussing it any longer. She rocked Grace in her arms and waited several moments to calm her nerves. "I need to call Angela." Temperance whispered. "I need Antonia and Parker."_

_"I don't think Angela has said anything about Booth to them." Max replied._

_Temperance's only answer was a nod._

_"I need to talk to Jared." She said, looking up at the door, and then down to her daughter. "I need to find Ace… I have to… I…" She stammered as panic seemed to steer her a bit out of control. _

_"Mommy, you're shivering." Grace whispered. "Are you cold?" _

_Temperance tried to control her trembling, buried her face in her daughter's hair and simply rocked her. "Tempe, you have to lie down." Max whispered. "You need rest."_

_"No." She shook her head, her eyes still wide open, and she just continued rocking. "I can't lie down…I have my family to take care of." She said. "Gracie, Mommy has to go run an errand, okay?" _

_"No…" She whimpered._

_"I promise I'll be right back… I promise… and maybe Nee and Parker can come and visit us, since we are staying here at the hospital tonight. What do you think about that?" She whispered._

_"Okay." Grace said softly. "Can JV come too?"_

_"I'll ask. And I'll get us a change of clothes… and some socks…"_

_"And Squeaker." Grace said, a smile on her face._

_"We'll make sure they bring Squeaker…"_

_"And Fluffy Bunny, Mommy." She said, the happiness returning to her face. "Tell them to bring Fluffy Bunny too, so that when daddy wakes up from his nap, he can read it to me before bed."_

_Her voice was so soft and innocent, and her smile was so pure, that Temperance didn't have the strength to tell her daughter the truth about her daddy. "I'll have them bring your book, baby." Temperance whispered, kissing her little girl on the head. She carefully placed her under the covers on the bed, and kissed her cheek. "Mommy will be right back." She said, carefully standing up, she walked toward the door. Max grabbed her hand on her way over, and she stopped to look into his eyes._

_"I know that look, Temperance." Max whispered._

_"We'll talk afterwards." She said, pulling her hand away from her father. "I have my family to take care of." She said, as she turned and walked from the room, letting the door close solidly behind her._


	2. Answers

_**November 22nd**_

_Temperance stepped out of the room and took a deep breath as she turned and leaned against the door of her daughter's room. She closed her eyes and tried to focus. "Tempe?" A voice pulled her from her moment of peace. Her eyes opened, and she could see Jared down the hallway, being pulled toward the elevator. The guard glanced over as Jared called to her._

_She took a deep, cleansing breath and started to walk toward him. She could see the sorrow in his eyes and crouched in front of the wheelchair as soon as she reached him. "Jared." She started, but he was already starting to blubber._

_"I'm sorry." He said, his body was trembling from emotion. "I'm… I'm so sorry."_

_"Jared, stop." She said, touching his hand, she needed him to calm. _

_ "If I didn't… leave the car out front, if I just… found someone to take Seeley to you, none of this would have happened. None of this would have happened if I wasn't such a stupid, selfish, son of a…"_

_"Jared." She said sternly. "You're in the pediatric ward of a hospital." _

_He stopped his sentence, but continued to cry. "If I had just thought about it, Tempe. If I had just… Seeley would still be alive."_

_"Seeley is alive." Temperance said, "I mean Booth… Booth is alive, Jared."_

_"What?" Jared asked, swallowing his tears for a moment, he stared at her in disbelief. "You said…"_

_"I did say." She nodded. "And he did… for a time, he was…" She said, unable to say the actual words, or hear them from Jared. "Jared, he's alive… he survived surgery, and he's stable."_

_"But you said…"_

_"I know what I said!" She snapped, visioning again her husband's peaceful face when she pulled the sheet from his lifeless form. "But he's not! He's not, and that is all we have right now, do you understand?" She exclaimed. She was at her breaking point, and knew that if one person didn't give her an inch, she'd probably melt down right there. "Jared, do you understand?"_

_"Yes." He said, looking up at her, he shook his head and took a slow, deep breath. "Yeah, I understand."_

_"Jared, please." She said softly. "I don't know… if… I… He woke up for a moment, when I went to see him. He woke up, and I think something is wrong."_

_"What do you mean, wrong?" Jared asked._

_"I mean he doesn't remember his daughter… He doesn't remember Grace. He was only awake for a moment, so maybe it's nothing… but he seems to be remembering the incident when he came back to us."_

_"Maybe he's just confused." Jared whispered, wiping his tear on his sleeve._

_"I don't know." She whispered. "I just… I needed to tell you that he's not gone. It wouldn't be fair to you."_

_"Why do you care what is fair to me, Tempe? You hate me."_

_"I don't hate you, Jared." She replied, squeezing his hand. "I don't like some of the things you have done, or the way that you have taken advantage of your brother… but I don't hate you."_

_"I called CPS." Jared said softly. "I talked to Seeley. He really likes you." He sucked in a deep breath, and let it out in a heavy sigh. "I just thought it would be easier on you if he…"_

_"I have a very large network of friends and relatives that care deeply about my family, Jared. Seeley is a member of my family. He could never be a burden."_

_"The CPS lady is going to want to meet with you." Jared replied. _

_"That's fine." She nodded, looking down at her clothes that still had remnants of her husband's blood, and she could feel the heaviness of her own exhaustion. "I am going to get a change of clothes… take a shower soon…"_

_"You need sleep too, Tempe. You look like you're about to drop."_

_"I have just a few more things to do, include have Seeley moved into Grace's room for the night. He shouldn't be alone."_

_"You're a terrific Mom, Tempe."_

_"Your son is smart, he's well adjusted… and I'd say that at some point in your five years with him, that you were doing things right. I just hope that your future decisions focus around him, and not on yourself."_

_"They're going to let me say goodbye before I go. Will you let me see him?"_

_"You are his father." She nodded. "I have some phone calls to make." She said, watching Jared nod his head. _

_"Thank you, Tempe… for getting me in there." Jared said, watching her nod her head. "Tell my brother that I love him. Tell him thank you."_

_"I'll tell him." She said, standing up. She nodded to Frank, who gave her a friendly nod and smile, and proceeded down the hallway to the elevators._

_Temperance watched for a moment and lifted her phone up. She dialed a number and waited. "Angela?" She said to the person who answered the phone. "Ange, I need some help…" She whispered._

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 20th<em>**

Booth walked to the bottom of the stairs and listened for his daughter's voice. He could hear her talking in the kitchen to Temperance. He walked to the door and paused, listening for a moment, he stood still and listened.

"I want Santa to bring Daddy back for Christmas." Grace said, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. There was a long pause from Temperance, and Booth could picture her watching the sincere expression on the little girl's face.

"You have your Daddy, Gracie."

"No." She shook her head.

Temperance lifted her daughter up onto the counter and placed the little girl's hands in hers. "What makes you say that?"

"He's just… different."

"And we're going to condemn him because he's different?"

"I don't know what that means."

"Your Daddy loves you very, very much, baby. He's still the same person he always was… he's just a little confused."

"I'm confused." She pouted.

"I know, Gracie K, we're all confused. We're all working with what we have, but we can't just tell Daddy that certain things should be a certain way."

"But they are, Mommy. I know you're sad." She said, staring her mother into her eyes, she narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah, Mommy is sad." Temperance whispered. "But there isn't much we can do about it, is there? We can't just sit around and be sad, can we?

Booth took a step away from the door, focusing on the sadness in Temperance's voice. She really was sad, she was disappointed. He had been trying for weeks now to remember who he once was. They had gone to familiar places, looked at pictures and told stories to him. He tried to focus on just the way things were now. Married to Bones... Parker was now with him and Temperance most of the time, and Seeley, the new comer was quickly coming into his own in the family. Antonia was growing quickly, and though he had been with them for four years, he felt like he had missed those years right now. But the one thing that made his heart truly break, was knowing that he couldn't remember his own daughter.

Grace. This tiny pixie of a child, who had every bit of her father's sensitivity, but her mother's drive and determination.

She never spoke of the kidnapping, and was terrified of the dark. She was brave to a fault, and as stubborn as both he and Temperance put together. She was terrified to be left alone, and she was terrified of him.

He was terrified of himself.

He had no idea who he was, or what he had gone through to get to this point, and every time those crystal blue eyes looked at him, he could see the doubt in them. He could feel the disappointment in himself. He needed to find out who he was, he needed to figure this out for his family, for himself, for Grace.

He turned for the door and grabbed his coat from the hook, pulling it onto his shoulders, he heard two feet trouncing down the stairs. He looked up and saw Seeley watching him. The boy was quiet.

"Hey." Booth said, crooking his finger in the direction of the boy. Seeley took a step down and watched his Uncle. "Tell your Aunt Bones that I had to go out for a little bit, okay?" He asked. Seeley nodded, and Booth gave him a ruffle of his hair as he stepped to the bottom of the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Seeley whispered.

"Don't worry about that." Booth said softly. "Just tell her not to worry."

"Okay." Seeley said, watching his Uncle glance toward the kitchen, and then slide out of the house quietly, with just the click of the door behind him.


	3. Two Way Street

_**December 20th- 10:00pm**_

The moment Booth stepped out onto the sidewalk, he felt a little better. The cold December air felt refreshing against his face, especially when compared to the tension-filled home he had just walked out of. He needed to clear his mind, he needed to find a focus. He walked along the sidewalk, listening to the ice crunch beneath his steps, traveling in a direction that he was unsure of.

In a matter of minutes, he could see the lights of the nation's capital in the distance. The somber lights reflecting off the low clouds, gave an eerie glow to the nighttime sky. His thoughts ranged between confusion and fear, and the longer he walked, the more wrapped up he became in his thoughts. He pulled his coat a little tighter and let his mind wander to that moment in the hospital when he realized something was very wrong.

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 22nd- 6:00pm<strong>  
><em>

_His body ached horribly, his head spinning so hard that he felt as if he would lose the contents of his stomach if there were anything in it. Breathing was easier, but something was wrong, something was off. He expected a sense of urgency, a sense of foreboding but felt nothing. He wanted to slip back into the painless cushion of sleep, but could feel a tension in the room that kept him from drifting too far. His mind sifted through facts and thoughts, and in the depth of this darkness, he could hear a child crying._

_Flashes invaded his mind. Fire, smoke, explosions sent heat through his limbs, intensifying the pain._

_Screams, sirens, crying._

_Shouts of indignation and passion, and sharp blows to his chest unyielding and without restraint. The lights and sirens continued in his thoughts, swirling the broken pieces together into a sharp stop, right here._

_Stopped._

_He could hear the gentle pulse of the machines in the room, and feel the presence of someone over him. It wasn't a cold or impersonal feeling, but a longing and wishful feeling that washed over him. He felt a hand in his, gently pulsing a heartbeat into his body._

_His eyes opened, and at first he saw nothing. The ceiling was typical of a hospital, he knew this for having stared at one for over a year following the plane crash. His focus though, was pulled in the direction of the gentle squeezing of his hand. His breath caught in his throat for a moment, when he saw the source of the pressure in his hand._

_Bones._

_Temperance. It was always the former for him, she was always 'Bones' to him. He kept his eyes on hers, though the thoughts that swirled in his head kept him from focusing on anything. He felt a heavy weight of sorrow drop onto his chest when her eyes did open. Her mouth dropped open just slightly, and with a sharp intake of breath, she whispered his name._

_"Booth?"_

_Her tone was questioning, and he wondered what it meant. Was she unsure of who he was? Was she wondering why he was here? Did she want to know how he could do this to her, betray her, break her heart? He just stared into her eyes trying to find answers to his own questions, as she seemed to be looking for an answer to her own._

_"Booth, it's me." She whispered. "Can you see me?"_

_He couldn't answer, there was no answer. Of course he could see her, she was right in front of him, staring at him with eyes filled with so much love that the level of guilt he was feeling rose within him and sent sharp pains through his abdomen. His brow furrowed in pain._

_"Booth, please." She whispered. "Please say something to me…" She begged. He felt her hand squeezing his, the pulsing of earlier was faster and more frenzied. "Please." She begged._

_All he could remember was the warehouse. He was on the floor, a tiny body pressed into his. He could hear her calling to him. He could feel her fingers gripping into his skin, hear her whispered voice. He let out a frustrated sigh. "Saint Anthony." He tried to whisper, the words familiar, but the piece in the puzzle just didn't seem to fit. He watched her confused expression, and she moved closer. "Say it again." She whispered. "I'm listening."_

_"Toni?" He whispered back, picturing the small child in his arms, the cold floor beneath his back._

_He watched Temperance pull herself up, and her eyes held a bit of terror within the crystal blue depths._

_"Toni? What about Antonia?" She whispered._

_The name on her lips sounded so beautiful, and he could hear her screaming cries from being put into the ambulance. He could feel the grip of her fingers on his skin, still fresh and raw. A tear escaped, and he could feel it tickling its way down his cheek. "Booth, it was Grace. Grace, not Antonia."_

_For a moment, everything stopped. "Grace?" He whispered. The name sounded familiar, but wrong in the face of the events that had landed him on this hospital bed._

_Her attention was being called from the doorway suddenly, but she refused to look up at the intruder. "Grace, Booth."_

_His chest felt heavy suddenly, and dizziness was making him sick to his stomach. He could see the panic in her eyes as he whispered his reply. "I don't… know."_

_He heard the nurse say her name again, but she refused to look away. She told the nurse to wait a moment, and focused her attention solely on him. "Booth, you know who I am, right?"_

_Ridiculous question._

_"Bones." He said, feeling his heart beat just a little faster, he immediately thought of what brought him here. The betrayal, the sneaking, the secrets that had gotten her daughter kidnapped, and both of them nearly killed. "Bones, I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry."_

_He could feel everything darkening around him, the pain of his ribs, the snapping of his bones as he held Antonia close. He could feel the heat of the sores on his skin, and see the darkness in the eyes of his daughter's kidnappers. He couldn't understand why she was pulling away. He couldn't understand why she was clinging to him, who this Grace person was. He couldn't understand why she wasn't pushing him away. He felt another hot tear roll down his cheek. "I'm so sorry, Bones," he said. He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, trying to control the pain, trying to control his own guilt and sorrow._

_"Doctor Brennan, your daughter is asking for you." The nurse said from the doorway, finally pulling Temperance's attention away from him, and Booth was grateful for that peaceful second, though he could tell that she still hadn't looked up at the nurse._

_"Tell her that I will be right there." Temperance said._

_Booth allowed his eyes to open slightly, and there was no sorrow in her eyes, only fear. He was unsure of why that fear was there, and knew that she needed to get to Antonia. "Go to Toni, Bones." He said, feeling the strength to remain awake draining from his body. His eyes closed. "Tell her that Deuce loves her. Tell her that Deuce loves her so much." He said, feeling his body start to feel lighter, his thoughts drifting as his he felt his body start to relax. In the depths of his exhaustion, he heard the nurse again, insisting that Temperance leave._

_He was just drifting off when he felt her warm lips on his. Emotions flooded his chest, forcing his mind to swirl into confusion. Her warm lips on his felt so right, so normal, so perfect, and just as quickly as they warmed him, they were gone again. His mind whirled with lost emotion, his body felt heavier, and the only thing he could think of was that echoing mantra in his head. "Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around… Something is lost, and must be found."_

_He whispered that until he heard the door click, and one last tear fell from his eye as he drifted into a fitful sleep._

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 20- 11:48pm<strong>_

Booth's steps became slower as he brushed the tear from his cheek, and he found himself in an area that he didn't recognize. He twisted his head in the direction that he came from, and found that it was just as dark as the direction he was moving in. He was in a darker section of the city now, warehouses and railroad tracks were nearby, and the dimly lit stores seemed to be familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. The smell of coal and metal invaded his senses, and his eyes flicked to a movement out of the corner of his eye. A vagrant continued their walk on the other side of the street, without looking in his direction. A sense of panic began to rise in his chest. He lifted his wrist to see the time.

His brow furrowed. Nearly midnight.

He had been walking for nearly two hours, and had no idea where he was. He patted his pockets for his cell phone, remembering that he had left it on the table next to the couch. He could feel the chill of the winter biting through his jacket now, and started to walk quickly back the way he thought he had come from. He started to run as his anxiety suddenly spiked, but quickly ran out of breath as his scar tissue pulled at his side, and his lack of any recent exercise caught up to him. He heard the sound of tires crunching in the street, and the bright lights of a car as it pulled up to the curb. Bent over trying to catch his breath, he thought for a moment if he just remained still, that perhaps the person in the car would just go away.

"Deuce?" A man's voice shouted out to him, and he instantly recognized it. Through the mist of the lightly falling snow in the headlights, a shadow approached him. "Deuce, man, what the hell are you doing out here?"

"Ace?" Booth asked, squinting against the bright lights of the car.

"Temperance is worried sick about you." Ace said, approaching his old partner. He could see that something was wrong. "It has to be like fifteen degrees out here." He said, trying to lighten the mood. He grabbed Booth's arm, but the other man didn't move. "Booth?" He said.

"I can't go back right now." He shook his head.

"Don't be ridiculous, Deuce." Harding replied. "They're your family."

"I… I.. I can't go back right now, Ace. I can't face that little girl again. I can't face Bones… I am not strong enough."

"Come on, Booth. You're afraid of a little girl?"

"No." Booth said, pushing his friend lightly. "Don't be an ass. I'm afraid that I will never be what I was to her. I can't even remember my own daughter!" He shouted. "I don't know how to act around her, I don't know what she wants, what she expects. She hates me for not being what I was!"

"She still loves you, man. She's just confused."

"Yeah, well… I am aware of that feeling. Trust me." Booth said, sighing. "Where the hell am I, anyway? How did you find me?" He looked around at the unfamiliar street.

"Your old apartment is four blocks that way." Harding nodded down the way Booth had run from. "Temperance called about an hour ago and said that you had been gone a while. She was getting worried because it was getting colder… and for the record, I now know the amount of time it takes for a body to drop into hypothermia when stationary for extended periods of time." Ace said with a sarcastic smirk.

Booth couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh. "Bones was always good for facts on those kinds of things."

"Yes." Harding said as he looked at his watch. "And right about now, I am sure she's wondering if you're going to thaw out in time for Christmas." He said, watching the uncertainty in his eyes. "Get in the car." He said, nodding toward the waiting and warm vehicle.

"Ace…"

"I am not asking, Booth." He said in an authoritative tone. "My partner gets what she wants."

Booth scowled, narrowing his eyes. "Are you sure that you and Bones never…"

"Don't… even go there." Ace replied. "Car."

Booth could no longer feel his fingers, and his teeth were chattering as he stared at his old partner for several more moments, just for posterity. Wordlessly, he stepped toward the car and pulled at the handle. He could feel the pain shoot up his hand from his frozen fingers, but ignored it as he climbed into the warm car. Harding took a moment to take a deep breath, and followed after his friend, climbing into the driver's seat. He lifted his phone to his ear as he hit a button on speed dial.

Booth stared straight ahead, and said nothing.

"Hey, Doc. I've got him." There was a pause, and Harding nodded and smiled a little. "He's alright… a little cold, but he's in one piece. If you don't mind, I'm going to take him for a little ride, alright?" Another pause, and he looked to Booth. "She says she loves you." Harding took the lost look on Booth's face as he stared out the window as an answer. "He loves you too, Doc. I'll have him home some time before the sun comes up. No problem at all." He said, hanging up the phone.

Ace looked to Booth for another moment, but the other man said nothing. Without another word, he put the car in gear, and started to drive.


	4. Talk

**_December 21- 12:15am-_**

Ace drove carefully through the streets of Booth's old neighborhood, noting that the other man simply stared straight ahead. By the third time Ace looked toward him, Booth's eyes were looking directly at him. "I think I'm calm now, you can take me home." Booth replied.

"Thinking you're calm, and actually being calm are two completely different states of mind."

"Thank you, serenity police." Booth said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You can just bring me home, now. I went for a walk and I just went a little farther than I realized."

"Booth, you're miles from home." Ace said, pulling into a 24 hour gas station. "Do you mind if I ask what you were thinking about that got you so wrapped up in thinking?"

"Yes." Booth said simply, glaring at his friend. "I mind."

Ace sighed and turned the car off, pulling the keys from the ignition. He shook his head and reached for the handle on the door.

"Where are you going?" Booth asked.

"I'm going into this gas station to get some disgusting coffee, because I can see that it is going to be a very, very long night." Ace said, swinging the keys from his finger as he climbed from the SUV and closed the door.

"Wait, wait." Booth called, pushing the door open, he climbed out and looked over at Ace. "You're taking me home."

"Not until you and I get a few things straightened out." Ace replied. "Partner." Ace then turned and walked nonchalantly toward the door of the gas station. He heard his friend let out a gruff sigh, climb back into the car, and the door slam behind him. With a satisfied smirk on his face, Ace entered the store.

* * *

><p>Temperance pressed the 'end' button on her phone as soon as she had gotten the news from Harding. She sighed in relief as she tenderly ran her fingers through her sleeping daughter's hair. She softly hummed a tune for a moment or two, and gathered the child in her arms.<p>

She climbed the stairs quietly, listening to the familiar creak of the stairs with each step, and stepped to Parker's room. She peeked inside to see Parker sleeping soundly on the top bunk of their new bunk bed, a book in his hands as he breathed softly. The bottom bunk of the bed was occupied by a curled up little boy, snuggled deeply in his new bed linens. A night light shining across the room kept him happy in the dim darkness of his new bedroom.

Temperance walked up to Parker's sleeping form and gently extracted the book from his fingertips. She carefully dog-eared the page he was on and placed it on the small desk in the room. He shifted slightly in his sleep, rolling to his side, his eyes opening a bit. He smiled in his sleepy haze and settled back in, drifting back to sleep. Temperance smiled tenderly at the sleeping boy and moved her attention the small boy in the bottom bunk. She shifted Grace carefully in her arms, and crouched down, running her fingers over his forehead, he didn't move. Temperance leaned down and tenderly kissed his head. "I love you, little boy." She whispered. She watched him for another moment and stood up, watching as he slept peacefully.

She then quietly left the room and headed toward Antonia's room. Another dimly lit room, she knew exactly how she'd find the little girl. She smiled as she opened the door to find her daughter sleeping with a book opened on her chest, her flashlight fallen to her side. Temperance walked into her daughter's room and knelt beside the bed. Carefully she removed the book and placed the bookmark inside, before closing the book. She reached over her daughter and picked up the flashlight.

"Mommy?" Antonia whispered.

"Yes?" Temperance asked.

"Don't let me lose my place in my book, okay?" She asked.

"Haven't you memorized that book by now?" She smiled.

Antonia giggled tenderly and smiled. "Not yet." She whispered sleepily.

"Sweet dreams, baby."

"Sweet dreams, Mommy." Antonia whispered. Temperance started to stand up, and clicked off the flashlight, bathing the room in the dim darkness of just the simple nightlight. "Mommy?" Antonia whispered.

"Yes, baby?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, baby girl. Get some sleep, it's really late."

"Tell daddy I love him too."

"I'll tell him." Temperance whispered as she carefully walked to the door.

"I don't want him to forget." She said, the sentiment whispered in the darkness was meant to be innocent, but the heaviness of the statement hung in the air. Temperance slipped quietly from the room.

She padded softly toward Grace's bedroom, turning the doorknob, she looked around at the mess that she had made when Booth was trying to put her to bed. Carefully she stepped over the blocks on the floor and gently placed the little girl into her bed. Temperance then carefully pulled the blanket over the little girl, and tucked her little gray mouse beneath her arm. Blue eyes flickered open, and she stared up at her mother for a moment. "I thought you were sleeping." She whispered.

"Mmm…" Grace mumbled, cuddling her little mouse. "Did daddy come home?" She whispered.

"He'll be home soon, little one."

"I miss him." Grace whispered.

"I know you do, baby." Temperance whispered. She kissed her daughter on the forehead and settled down next to the bed. She tenderly ran her fingers through the little girl's hair as she slept. "So does Mommy."

* * *

><p>When Ace got back into the car, he placed a Styrofoam cup in the cup holder, and handed another to Booth. "I didn't want any coffee." Booth replied as he begrudgingly took the cup.<p>

"Just drink it and warm up." Ace said, starting the car, he backed from the parking space and began to drive. "We need to talk."

"About what?" Booth said, still holding the cup, he was going to hold out for as long as he could, just so he wouldn't give Ace the simple satisfaction of knowing that he had done him a favor.

"About you. About your daughter, your wife, about the accident… your memory loss, about all of it."

"There's nothing to talk about." Booth replied. "It happened, and I'm dealing with it."

"Except that you're not." Ace said, nodding his head, he looked toward Booth's glare and lifted his eyebrows. He let out a chuckle. "What? You're not."

"I see them every day… the way that they look at me with sympathetic eyes, doubt… fear… disappointment." Booth sighed. "I'm not the person that they love. I'm an imposter."

"Except that you are the same person." Ace replied. "You are the exact same person you were when all of this happened. You just have to find that rhythm, your confidence. You can't expect them to trust you, if you can't trust yourself."

"And why do you even care?" Booth asked, sighing as he brought his coffee to his lips.

"Because we're partners, Booth."

"But we are not partners. Bones is your partner. I am, as it is described to me… nothing but a glorified security guard."

"Fine." Ace snapped. "I care because you're my brother, and I love you. So just shut up about how pathetic you feel, and just talk to me. Because the next step is therapy, and I know how much you hate psychology."

"Almost as much as Bones hates psychology." Booth shot back.

"Exactly. So start talking." Ace said, driving the car peacefully through the quiet streets of the city.


	5. Accomplice

_**December 21- 12:25am-**_

Ace drove slowly around the corner, looking to Booth as they approached the building that seemed to be fresh in his most recent memory banks. Ace slowed in front of the building, and pulled to the curb. "Why are we here?" Booth asked him, trying to keep his voice from sounding irritated. His sideways glance, however was ripe with annoyance.

"We'll start at the beginning." Ace replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"The beginning… the last thing you remember."

"Wouldn't that be the end?" Booth replied.

"The longer you act like this, the longer it's going to take, Deuce." Ace replied.

"Act like what? Like I had the whole world in my hands, and now it's nothing but dust?" Booth asked.

"You still have the whole world in your hands Booth. You just don't know how to handle it all. Let's start at the beginning." Ace nodded toward the building.

Booth sighed, looking up at the windows of the apartment. They were darkened, for it was late at night, and the person that lived there had to have been sleeping. "After the plane crash, Bones moved into my place." Booth said softly. "I'd visit Toni here, and Bones." He leaned forward and looked up at the windows. "Doesn't feel like it has been four years." He said with a wistful sigh. He glanced to Harding and sighed, sitting back in the car seat. "This isn't helping. What the hell are you supposed to be, the ghost of Christmas past?" Booth snapped.

Ace simply shook his head "You're an ass, Seeley Booth." Ace said with a sigh, he put the car into gear, keeping quiet once more instead of falling into his friend's bickering challenge. He drove them toward the city, his hands on the wheel tightly, the smell of the coffee beside him keeping him awake.

Booth watched him for a moment and sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just… frustrated." Booth replied. "Confused, and frustrated. It didn't help that when I woke up, that Jack was in the room."

"Jack was the leader in the SWAT team that you arranged to save Grace and Seeley."

"Yeah, well Jack was also there when I woke up in the hospital after the plane crash, Ace. Jack was there… not you."

"I would have been in that hospital room if I wasn't incapacitated by your dumbass brother. See, that's what I wished you remembered. I feel like you're taking all of this frustration that you should be feeling with Jared, and you're taking it out on me."

Booth sighed, settling back in his seat, taking a moment to sulk silently.

* * *

><p><strong><em>November 22nd- 7:45pm-<em>**

_His head felt heavy, but a little clearer than earlier, and the pain seemed to just be floating around him now, instead of at the intensity it had been. A picture of Temperance hung in his mind, and he whispered her name softly. _

_His eyes opened, and the room was nearly empty, though when he turned his head, he could see that someone was sitting in the chair nearby. Someone was waiting for him to wake up. "Bones?" He whispered a little louder. The person who stood up was not who he expected._

_The tall dark haired SWAT officer that had been with Temperance in the ambulance stood to attention when the man in the bed spoke. "Deuce." He said kindly, his green eyes were happy to see his friend awake._

_"Jack?" Booth said, knitting his eyebrows. His throat was dry, and though his head wasn't heavy, his body felt like it had a load of bricks atop it. "What are you doing here? Where is Bones?"_

_"Doctor Brennan is with Grace." Jack spoke softly._

_"Grace?" He shook his head in confusion. "Bones was here earlier… Who is Grace?"_

_"Grace is your daughter, Deuce." Jack replied. He watched confusion cloud the other man's expression, the panic already starting to set in. _

_"Antonia is my daughter." He replied, simply and softly. "I don't… understand. Where is Bones?" He asked again. "Why are you here?"_

_"Do you want me to get her?" Jack asked._

_"Yes." Booth said, simply trying to piece together exactly what was going on. "Tell her that I need her."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 21- 12:24am<strong>_

Temperance sat beside her daughter's bed until she was completely asleep. It didn't take long, but Temperance had been finding it more and more difficult to get Grace to stay sleeping. Since they had returned from the hospital, she had slipped into some odd routines, and with Booth not acting quite himself, it fell to Temperance to deal with the family's changing dynamic.

She had taken the month of December off from the lab so that she could focus on the changes that her family was facing, and the difficulties they knew they would be facing in the coming weeks. She shifted her position, glancing to her daughter's sleeping form, listening to the sound of her breathing. Things were not running as smoothly as she would have liked.

One specific thing that had stricken Temperance as odd, was that Grace didn't have nightmares like Antonia had after her ordeal. Instead of waking in the middle of the night with a terrified scream on her lips, she had simply refused to sleep. For days after the incident, she would lie awake in her bed at night and stare at the ceiling, sleeping only a couple of hours per night. The nights that Temperance did manage to sleep in her own bedroom, it was empty and alone, because Booth also refused to sleep beside her. He had told her that he felt as if he were a stranger in their home, and that though he loved her with all of his heart, he'd feel as if he were betraying her if he slept beside her. He felt that she didn't want 'this' man sleeping beside her, but the man she married. Her protests were met with more bickering, so eventually she just gave in. Booth's nights had been spent on the couch downstairs, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the sun to rise, and waiting for his memory to spontaneously fix itself. Every three days or so, Temperance would wake up halfway through the night with an odd feeling of being watched, and find Grace standing by her bed, watching her sleep.

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 8th- 2:04am<strong>  
><em>

_Temperance gasped at the child standing beside her bed. Instantly she noticed that all of her lamps in the bedroom had been turned on, and the child's blue eyes were wide and watching. "Grace?" Temperance whispered. She watched as the little girl sighed, almost as if in relief, but remained silent. "What are you doing in here, baby? Are you okay?"_

_"Yes." She whispered._

_"Are you having problems sleeping?" She asked, squinting at the bright light of the lamp._

_"Yes."_

_"Did you have a bad dream?"_

_"No." She shrugged._

_"Do you want to cuddle with Mommy?"_

_Grace smiled and nodded, pulling herself up into her mother's bed, she turned her arms and felt her mother's arms around her, as she drifted to sleep. Temperance, however, didn't find sleep as easily._

* * *

><p>Temperance sighed and leaned over her daughter for a moment, dropping a kiss on her forehead as she stood up. She could feel her body protesting the movement, and stretched. Her eyes fell onto the book that sit awkwardly on the shelf, and noticed a sheet of paper sticking from the top. She walked to the bookshelf and her brow furrowed when she saw the condition of her daughter's favorite book. She pulled the book from the shelf and carefully rearranged the pages, frowning at the unfortunate condition of it. "Fluffy bunny has seen better days." She whispered softly as she closed the book, and slipped it into its rightful place on the shelf.<p>

She walked quietly across the room to the light switch, and with a loving glance back to her daughter, she flicked the switch. "Sweet dreams and jelly beans." She whispered to her sleeping daughter, and watched her sleep under the glow of her night light, then quietly slipped from the bedroom.

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 22nd- 7:56pm<strong>  
><em>

_Temperance stepped from her daughter's room, leaving Grace and Seeley with Max as she waited for Angela. She had given Angela instructions of what to bring, and had asked her to bring Parker and Antonia by after dinner. She looked to her watch and noted that it was nearly eight o'clock. She took a deep cleansing breath._

_When she opened her eyes, she was staring into a familiar pair of green eyes. She jumped a little and could see the apology in his expression. "I'm sorry, Doctor Brennan." He said politely._

_"What are you still doing here?" She asked, surprised to see the officer from earlier, she swallowed hard. She felt intensely protective of the door she was standing in front of._

_"Booth needs you."_

_"What?" She asked, her face turning pale at the mention of his name. She hadn't been avoiding his room, but had found herself incredibly busy tending to every other detail of her life that seemed to be falling apart at the seams._

_"Booth. He's awake, he's asking for you." He replied._

_"I…I…" She stammered for a moment. "Who are you?"_

_He stared at her for a moment, and a slow smile spread on his face. "Booth never told you about me, did he?"_

_"You're the SWAT guy… the officer from the ambulance. I don't know who you are. How do you know Booth?"_

_Jack grinned politely. "I'm Jack Kirkpatrick. Deuce's accomplice." _

_"Excuse me?"_

_He lowered his voice and watched Temperance's eyebrow lift. "Booth needs you… we can walk and talk." He said, nodding._

_Temperance took a deep breath, nodded, and followed along with the other man, eager to learn his connection to her husband._

* * *

><p>Booth shifted in his seat, watching as his friend drove him past the various Christmas displays. He watched Ace for a moment. "I'm really a pathetic shit, aren't I?"<p>

"When you talk like that, you are." Ace said, glancing to his friend, he moved his eyes back to the road.

"I just don't know… how I got to this point with Bones. She married me, Ace, we're married."

"There was a lot of groveling involved."

"So much has changed."

"Physically, yeah… things have changed. You're no longer invisible… the woman that has always loved you knows that you're alive and wants to continue her life with you. Your children… if you would stop worrying about what you lost, and focus on what is in front of you, it'll all come to you naturally."

"I just wish you had seen the look on her face in that hospital, Ace." Booth replied. "When she came in… when she sat with me… I think I broke her heart."

"She's a lot stronger than you're giving her credit for, Booth." Ace replied, leaving the conversation to hang for several moments, as they continued their drive around the city.


	6. Logic & Sympathy

_**December 21- 12:45am**_

Ace focused on driving around some of the monuments, taking a slow ride through the darkened city was always a little cathartic. The cold weather rarely brought out the tourists at this time of night, and with the added sparkle of holiday lights, one could feel like they were the only person left on the earth.

"Talk to me, Booth." Ace said, noting that the other man was now just staring at his fingertips, flicking something invisible from the top of his fingernail. "I'm listening."

"Bones listens too." Booth said, glancing to him. "She sits with me for hours… talking to me, trying to make me feel better. Antonia and Parker… they sit with me, talk to me… ask me to take them places. They want me to be myself." Booth said. "I just don't feel it working. I don't feel like they really understand what I'm going through."

"Be logical, Booth. They don't know what you feel. They don't know what you're going through. But that doesn't mean that all they feel is sympathy for you. They're trying to be strong for you. They love you."

"I don't want any sympathy. I just want to have back what Bones has told me about. I want my family back."

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 22nd- 8:01pm<strong>  
><em>

_Temperance paused outside of the door of the hospital room. She closed her eyes for a moment, and thought to herself that if she truly believed in prayer, this would be one of those times it would be imperative. She turned to Jack for a moment, his eyes expectant and encouraging. She opened her mouth to say something, and he shook his head. "I… have some things to do, I am sure he's in good hands." _

_She nodded gratefully and swallowed hard. "Thank you, Jack." She whispered. "Thank you for…"_

_"Just doing my job, Doctor Brennan. I'll be around." He nodded._

_"Thank you." She said again, hoping that the moment of pause had given her enough encouragement to walk into the room. She pushed open the door and stepped inside, pausing again as she let the door close quietly behind her._

_Booth's head moved to the side, and she could instantly see the relief on his face. "Booth." She breathed his name as if a sigh._

_"Bones." He said, his voice was resolute, but not strong. He knew who she was, and for both of them, that was enough for the moment. _

_"Booth." She said again, moving across the room, she practically fell over him, careful of his injuries, she buried her face in his neck and reveled in his warmth for a moment._

_He said nothing, for he didn't want to frighten her, so he lifted his hand and carefully held her head, running his fingers through her hair._

_She had no fears just yet, only taking in one breath at a time simply because he was awake and alive. That was the first thing she needed to deal with, and all of the rest could wait. She breathed in the scent of his skin, and he could feel a tender kiss on his neck. Curiosity stung in his mind, and he wanted to ask how and why, but couldn't find the words. He felt that he hadn't held her in forever, and right now was worth the moment of peace, if he could just hold onto it a little longer._

_"I love you." She whispered, putting her hands on his face, she looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you so much." _

_He watched the tears roll down her cheeks, and the way her eyes spoke the words she wasn't saying, louder and more clearly than she could have ever thought of speaking. "I don't want to scare you." He whispered._

_"You've already scared me." She whispered. "You've already brought me to the brink of insanity, Booth." She whispered. "Just tell me that you love me."_

_"I… do love you." He said, though not as forceful as he could have, it was laced with confusion. "I do love you." He said again. "Bones?" He whispered._

_"Hm?" She said, standing up, she held his hand in hers, looking into his eyes, she saw the confusion instantly cloud them, and felt her heart jump into her throat. "What is it?"_

_"What happened?" He asked. "I am…"_

_"What do you remember?" She whispered. She held her breath as his eyes searched hers._

_"A… warehouse… there was a struggle. Toni was crying."_

_"Booth." She shook her head. "It wasn't Toni, It was Gracie." Her heart sank when his brow furrowed, and he looked away. "Booth?"_

_"I don't remember." He whispered. "I just… Antonia, where is she?"_

_"She's with Angela… and Parker."_

_Booth gasped slightly, his eyes widening. "Parker?"_

_"Yes. Booth, I'm going to get the doctor."_

_"No." He shook his head slowly. He looked like he was in pain, like he was trying so hard to comprehend what was going on, but nothing was clicking. "I am … Parker is with Angela?" He asked._

_"Booth, what is the last thing you remember?" She asked._

_"Ace." He said. "Ace shot me." He said, touching his side, where the bandage from his surgery bulged out._

_"No, Booth. That's not a gunshot wound." She replied, feeling her heart breaking as she explained. She was trying desperately to hold back her emotions, but was finding it very difficult._

_Booth watched her eyes filling with tears, and her hand was trembling in his. He could see that everything that he was saying was upsetting her. He could feel a deeper connection with her than he had expected, and didn't know why. She seemed to be directing him to answers that he wasn't able to give her, and with each response, she seemed to become more and more upset. _

_"Booth. I need to find the doctor."_

_"You found Parker and Rebecca? They were in the witness protection program, Bones. They could be in danger." He said, his voice slightly panicked._

_"Booth stop." She said, noticing how distressed he was becoming. "We need to take this one step at a time."_

_"Take what?" He asked. "I don't understand. You're making me very nervous." He replied. "Just tell me what I've missed." He whispered._

_There was a long, painful pause between them. He was begging her for the truth, begging her for an answer. "Do you trust me?" She whispered._

_"Of course."_

_Another long pause and she swallowed hard. "It appears you're missing the last four years of your life." She whispered._

* * *

><p>"Doc has always been about being straight forward, you can't fault her for that." Ace said with a slight chuckle.<p>

"I let Bones be straight forward. That's what I count on in her. She's truthful, blunt. That's what I love about her." He said, letting the sentiment float in the air softly. He cleared his throat and sighed. "I'm still mad at you for shooting me." Booth said, glancing to Ace, he let a smile escape his darker mood, and laughed lightly.

"You know, memory loss or not… you'll never let me forget that." Ace laughed.

"No way, man." Booth said, shaking his head as they listened to his friend laugh. "No way."


	7. The Key

**_December 21- 1:02am-_**

"Four years." Booth said definitively. "Four years were just… ripped from me like they didn't mean anything."

Ace let Booth vent just a bit. He knew better than anyone that the other man was simply feeling sorry for himself. Every man needs to have a moment of guilt and self reflection. Every man needs to be offered the opportunity to vent vocally about those things that pulled at them every moment of the day, but try to keep away from those that they love. Every man needed to take a step back and see what was placed in front of them so that they could find peace in what they had, and focus on moving forward.

"I want those years back."

Ace nodded.

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 21- 1:04am<em>**

Temperance settled on the couch in the living room, cup of tea in hand. She leaned over the side of the couch a bit, and peered into the coffee table shelf, pulling out a photo album. Smiling sadly, she slowly turned the pages through the pictures. The past four years had been filled with hundreds of moments that she had cherished, loved, and apparently had taken for granted. Her thoughts drifted to her husband, and his frustration. He wanted to remember everything so badly, that it was killing him every day that he couldn't. She ran her fingers over the pictures from their first picnic together. Antonia had been so excited to bring her tea set with them, and there were several pictures of Booth sitting on the grass, a tiny teacup pressed to his lips.

"Mommy?" A voice pulled her attention to the stairs, and she looked up to see Antonia stepping to the bottom stair. "You're crying."

Temperance brushed her hand over her face, and it collided with a tear or two that had escaped the corner of her eye. "I'm okay, Ant." She sniffled. "Why aren't you in bed? You have a half day of school tomorrow, you still have to get up in a couple of hours."

"I can't sleep." She replied, still standing at the bottom of the steps. "Where is daddy?"

"He's out with Ace." She replied, wiping another tear, she closed the album.

"Are you looking at pictures?" Antonia asked, walking toward her mother, she climbed up onto the couch and sat beside her, looking up at her expectantly.

"I was, but it… I don't know."

"It made you cry." Antonia said. "It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad."

"Mommy is supposed to be strong. Mommy isn't supposed to cry."

"You used to cry all of the time." She paused. "You used to cry all the time before Daddy was daddy. Are you afraid that Daddy won't remember?"

"No." She replied. "It isn't what daddy doesn't remember that makes me sad, baby. It's the fact that he won't let it go. He is trying too hard. I just want him to stop thinking that we don't love him despite everything that has happened. I wish he understood that we love him no matter what happens."

"I love him no matter what happens." Antonia said with a smile.

"I know you do, little girl." Temperance whispered, putting her arm around her daughter, she pulled her close. "We just have to keep reminding him of that." She said, kissing Antonia's head. They opened the photo album together, and silently looked through their memories together.

* * *

><p><strong><em>November 22 - 8:45pm<em>**

_Temperance walked toward her daughter's hospital room with a heavy heart. Booth was resting comfortably, but was still confused about what had happened, and she was just as confused as him. She knew that if she didn't get rest soon, she could very well simply collapse again._

_Rushing down the hallway, she could see Angela standing in the doorway of Grace's hospital room. She didn't look impatient, just very, very worried. "Ange." Temperance called._

_Angela could see immediately that her friend was ready to drop. Her typically strong stance was mired by exhaustion, and her eyes took on an almost cloudy blue color. "Sweetie." She said softly, approaching her friend, she instantly wrapped her arms around her. Angela could feel the full weight of her friend in her arms, knowing for just that moment she was allowing her friend to hold her up. "It's okay…" She whispered, gripping Temperance with all of her strength, she could feel the tension in her body. "It's okay."_

_Temperance took a deep breath. "It's not okay." She said, pulling from the hug. "It's not okay, but I do appreciate your effort in calling for it to be okay."_

_"It's okay to be relieved, and exhausted, and sad, and everything that you're feeling, Bren. It's okay."_

_Temperance looked into her friend's eyes and saw only strength, and in a second she was back in her arms. "Thank you, Angela." She whispered, a sigh of relief on her chest as she hugged her friend closely._

_"I love you, Bren. We'll get through all of this. I promise. Where is Booth?" She asked, feeling the tension in Temperance's body suddenly. "You said he made it through surgery." She said, pulling from the hug. Temperance's eyes were filled with something else suddenly, and tears began to flow. "What's wrong, Bren? What happened, is he okay?"_

_"He can't remember." She whispered, tears flowing freely. "He can't remember anything from the past four years. I… It's… it's all my fault." She whispered. _

_"What do you mean it's all your fault?"_

_"I let him go into that room alone… he went into the room alone to get Grace, he was injured, and… and… now he can't remember." _

_"I don't understand, sweetie." Angela whispered, trying to get Temperance to look into her eyes. _

_"Maybe he's just confused." She said, sucking in a deep breath, she tried to quickly rationalize it. "Maybe he's just… maybe it was just the trauma, you know? He's still on medications, and… he should remember, right?"_

_"Bren, you're really confusing me… just… dumb it down here a little for me. Did you talk to him?"_

_"Yes."_

_"And he knows who you are, right? He's moving around, breathing on his own?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then it's a start… that's a very good start. Being alive, breathing… that's good."_

_"What do I tell the children?" Temperance asked._

_"Tell them the truth." Angela replied. "They're not stupid, Sweetie… and you only have yourself to blame for that one." She smiled supportively as Bren nodded and gave a sigh of relief. "They gave us an hour for visitation, since visiting hours was over a while ago. Extenuating circumstances and all." Angela winked._

_"You didn't threaten them, did you?" Temperance asked._

_"I prefer the term 'cajole', if you don't mind." Angela said softly. "Parker and Antonia have been waiting for you, let's go inside."_

_"I'm…"_

_"Afraid?" _

_"I prefer the term apprehensive." She said, feeling her friend's hand in hers. "Thank you, Angela."_

_"That's what metaphorical sisters are for." She said, squeezing Temperance's hand, she pushed the door open with the other._

_The light in the room seemed brighter when she saw the smiles on Antonia and Parker's faces. She couldn't help but feel more alive, more awake and just a little more confident with the tackle of a hug she was greeted with from both of them. She felt their tight hugs against her, and she felt like she could conquer the world. She leaned her head down and buried her nose in Parker's hair as she kissed his head, closing her eyes. _

_She held onto them tightly for a few more moments extra, knowing the questions that would be coming soon, she preferred to just hold them for a moment. "Mama, JV is here too!" Grace exclaimed, smiling from her bed, Temperance looked up to see the curly haired boy waving from his spot sitting on the bed._

_"Mr. Hodgins." Temperance winked, sending the boy's face into a brilliant smile._

_"Heya, Auntie Bones." He smiled._

_She glanced to Seeley, and he was smiling from his bed, seemingly happy to have a roomful of people who cared for him and loved him. Max sat silently next to the boy's bed, and looked to Temperance. She took a slow, deep, cleansing breath and felt Angela's hand on her shoulder. "We're going to get through all of this together, Bren." She said. "You're not alone in this. Not by a long shot."_

* * *

><p>Temperance flipped the last page of pictures to a close and closed her eyes. She could tell that Antonia had fallen asleep against her, and was thankful for the company.<p>

Four years was a very long time for someone to lose. Four years of birthdays, Christmases, moments that couldn't be relived through photographs or storytelling. Four years was a long time for the typical person, but for Booth, it was four years of happiness that he couldn't seem to grasp as reality.

Temperance opened the photo album to the last page, and ran her finger over the picture of Booth holding his Gracie above his head as she giggled at him. They had matching smiles, and an energy that lifted from the picture as she heard both of their laughs in her memory.

Each held the key to the other's past.

One was aware that something was missing.

The other was too young to understand the importance of what was lost.


	8. First Time, Again

_**December 21- 1:30am-**_

"I'm afraid." Booth said suddenly. He turned his head to face his friend, and waited for the sarcastic comment that he expected to come. There was no comment, no smile or snicker. Ace just watched his friend silently for a moment. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes." Ace replied. "Why are you afraid?"

"I'm afraid that Bones is going to give up on me."

"Because you can't remember?"

"No." Booth shook his head. "She says it doesn't matter if I can remember or not. She just wants me to be me. She thinks if I go with my instincts that it'll spontaneously jog my memory. She says that is how it's going to happen, out of nowhere… that I can't predict it, and I just have to… be me."

"So what's the problem?" Ace asked sincerely.

"I don't know who 'I' am."

"I know it sounds stupid and cheesy… but you're Booth. You're a strong person, a loving husband… a loyal friend, and a sacrificial father. You'd give up anything for the safety of your children."

"So how do I know that Bones isn't going to give up on me?"

"Booth. First of all… giving up? It's not in Doc's vocabulary. Second of all… you talked to Jack. He told you what happened."

"He didn't tell me exactly what happened. Nobody has told me exactly what happened." Booth replied.

"Maybe you need to stop being afraid, Booth… and ask the one person that will tell you anything that you want to be told." Ace replied, sensing that Booth's self pity was beginning to slowly turn itself into something a little more useful. "She'd do anything for you, man. All you have to do is ask."

"It doesn't feel right."

"She's your wife. She's the mother of your children… she saved your life, Booth. You owe it to her."

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 23rd 6:10am-<strong>_

_Booth opened his eyes slowly, blinking for a moment as he attempted to orient himself to the room. He still felt sore all over, and his mind was so addled, it made him dizzy when he tried to concentrate. Slowly, his head turned to the side, and beside his bed, he saw a head of dark hair. The man beside his bed was looking down at his phone. _

_"Why is it, that every time I wake up in a hospital… you're the one sitting by my bed?" Booth asked. He was greeted by a set of green eyes as the man looked up at Booth._

_"Must be your lucky day, Deuce." Jack replied._

_"Hardly." Booth groaned. "Did Bones come back?"_

_"Doctor Brennan was here last night when you were sleeping, but went back to Grace's room. I told her that I'd stay here with you." _

_Booth paused for a moment, breathing from his nose, he had a look of pain in his eyes, and Jack had a feeling that it wasn't simply because of his injuries. "Does she know who you are?" Booth whispered._

_"I told her who I was. I told her that I was with you at the hospital after the plane explosion… that I was the one that helped you escape, and helped with your arrangements in the following years, kept the trail off you." Jack whispered._

_"You don't have to whisper, you know." Booth said, a scowl on his face. "I don't think anyone is listening. I don't think anyone cares."_

_"Yeah, well… whispering seems appropriate, given the circumstances." Jack replied. _

_"Bones said… that… things are different now."_

_Jack simply nodded._

_"I'm so confused." _

_"I know." Jack replied. "Did she tell you what happened?" He asked._

_"She said I had lost oxygen… that I wasn't breathing for an unspecified amount of time. She said that I died." He said, the word sounding odd off his lips, but his friend simply nodded._

_"You were declared dead." Jack said softly._

_"And she…?"_

_"Both Doctor Brennan and Grace were there."_

_Booth furrowed his brow, lifting his hand to his chest. He could feel the bruise beneath his fingertips, the prickle of pain was evident and fresh. He flicked his eyes to Jack, and watched the other man's eyebrows lift. "That woman will never give up on you, Booth. Ever."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 21- 1:10am<strong>_

Temperance closed the book and ran her fingertips over the soft material that the cover was made of. She continued to run her fingers through her daughter's hair, thinking quietly about the situation they were thrust into. She knew that Booth was battling with these demons, and it was slowly breaking her resolve to see him trying to hold back so much fear and anger. She trusted him with the kids, but she was finding it very hard to trust him on his own. When Seeley had told her that Booth had walked out, she had just a moment of panic, before her sensible side kicked in and after a moment or two, and she was able to convince herself that he simply needed some time, some space. The minutes ticked away, and she had noticed that the temperature was dropping drastically that evening.

She had been able to handle it for an hour, but after that, no more. She had called Ace and asked him if he minded looking for Booth. She wanted to feel helpless in the moments of the phone call, but could tell that Ace would have done the same thing. He had insisted on looking for the other man, giving Temperance the peace of mind that she needed to get her children to bed that night. She felt short of breath until that phone call from Ace had come through, and until she saw Booth, she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep.

Carefully, she placed the photo album on the coffee table, and pulled her daughter into her arms. Antonia shifted a little and her eyes opened just a bit. "Is Daddy home?" She whispered.

"Not yet, sweetheart." Temperance replied. She carefully cradled her daughter and stood, feeling the girl's head loll against her shoulder, she kissed her head and moved toward the stairs. Temperance moved slowly up the stairs and sighed, thinking of that moment after the accident, when Booth saw Parker and Antonia for the first time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>November 23rd 6:14am-<strong>_

_The door opened, and Booth turned his attention from Jack. Temperance stood awkwardly in the doorway._

_"Bones." Booth said, letting out the sigh of relief he had been holding for when he saw her again. He still wasn't convinced that what she had told him was true. He knew that he trusted her, but couldn't trust his own mind._

_She allowed a small smile onto her lips, and he was sure it was specifically because of the name he had spoken. "Hey." She smiled, glancing over to Jack, she caught his eye. "Thank you."_

_"My pleasure, Doctor Brennan." Jack replied. _

_"Call me Temperance, please." She replied._

_Jack nodded, smiling. "I'll give you some time." He said as he stood up. "Later." He said to Booth, who nodded, though it looked like he had more to say._

_"Thanks, Jack." He replied._

_Temperance stepped toward the bed as the door closed behind Jack. Concern lined her features, but she seemed more rested than the last time he had seen her. "I missed you." She said immediately, taking in his appearance, she watched him drinking her in with his eyes. She grabbed his hand as soon as she reached the bed, and he continued watching her without a word. His other hand rested on his chest, gently rolling over the bruised spot beneath the hospital gown. "Booth?"_

_"I missed you." He replied, his voice was still a little raspy, his throat a little sore. "Tell me again." He said, rolling the ring on her finger around in circles. He watched a curious expression cross her face, and she smiled a little. "Tell me again, please."_

_"We are married." She said, reaching up to touch his face. He could feel the cold metal of her ring touch his skin, and she smiled. "You are my husband, and I love you."_

_"It makes my heart beat faster when you say that." He whispered. "It makes me feel alive."_

_"Good." She smiled. "Because you are alive."_

_He wanted to whisper something more, to ask her about the bruise on his chest, to learn about his 'death', but he didn't. Instead, she cleared her throat and looked down at their hands. Her fingers danced over his for a moment. "Booth. We're taking Grace and Seeley home today."_

_"Okay." He said, still feeling odd about hearing his own name in reference to someone else. _

_"Gracie has been asking about you."_

_"I understand."_

_"And I told Antonia… and Parker about what happened." She said, watching his face fill with alarm. "I told them the truth, about the accident, about the oxygen loss. I told them about your memory." She explained. "But they want to see you."_

_"Bones, I don't think…"_

_"Booth. They need proof… to help them sleep, to ease their minds. I need for them to see you. They need to know that you're alright."_

_"But I'm not alright. I can't even remember…"_

_"You're alive and breathing… that's enough." She whispered. "Can I bring them in?" Temperance asked. "They're right outside."_

_Booth watched her for a moment. He could see the pleading look in her eyes, and his heart ached for her. He was curious, and a little nervous. Temperance had told him that Toni was seven now… that Parker, was fourteen years old. They were old enough to understand at least some of the implications. He nodded slowly, watching her shoulders drop slightly. It was obvious that his answer had relaxed her slightly, and for that he was grateful._

_She squeezed his hand softly, taking a step back. "Just a second." She said, walking toward the door. Booth watched as she disappeared out into the hallway for a moment. _

_Temperance stepped into the hall and Antonia and Parker stood from the bench in the hallway that they were sitting on. They noticed that Temperance seemed a little more calm, much calmer than she had when she had entered the room. She watched Antonia and Parker for a moment, and the worry lines appeared on her face again. Antonia reached for her mother's hand and Temperance could feel the strength in her daughter's grip. Parker nodded his head, taking that first step toward the door, Temperance was proud of him for that gesture. She was proud of his bravery, proud of his strength, and perhaps a bit envious of it as well. _

_Temperance watched as Parker opened the door, stepping in ahead of Temperance and Antonia. He held the door open, and Temperance led her daughter into the room as well. Both children stopped as soon as they were in the room, the silence screaming in their ears as Booth's eyes widened and remained on his guests. _

_Temperance felt Antonia stop, her body rigid as Booth simply watched them. She looked up at her mother, and Temperance nodded. "Daddy?" Antonia whispered._

_If it were logical for time to stop dead, it would be that moment. Temperance watched Booth and noted his look of shock. She could see on the monitors that his pulse had risen, his heart pounding in his chest. "Antonia?" Booth whispered, his eyes then flickering to Parker. "Parker?"_

_Suddenly, it was as if a dam had broken when the tears started flowing down his cheeks, and his heart rate was dangerously wild. He looked like he was in physical pain as he breathed quickly, deeply. "Booth, are you alright?" She whispered._

_"Toni." He whispered. "Parker." He said again, this time much more resolute. "Bones." He whimpered, looking directly into her eyes. "What did I do?" He whispered through gritted teeth and reddened eyes. "Bones, what did I do?" He gasped. Antonia stepped forward immediately, with Parker right behind her, and both reached for their father._

_Neither spoke a word._

_They just held him._


	9. Her Grace

**_November 23- 4:06 PM_**

_The car was quiet, and it seemed odd to Temperance to have three children in the car, and for it to be so silent. She looked into the rearview mirror and her eyes moved across the children in the back seat. Grace was looking out the window, and Seeley sat beside her, his eyes focused on his hands. Antonia, was looking directly into her mother's eyes in the mirror._

_Temperance felt a shiver at her daughter's expression. Her eyes were so questioning, but her lips were pursed. "Where's Parker?" Grace asked, looking up at her mother's reflection in the mirror, Temperance could see the curious expression on her face._

_"Parker went to stay with his mom for a few days, sweetheart."_

_"Why?" Grace asked._

_"Because Uncle Ace hurt his leg, baby. Auntie Rebecca will need Parker to help around the house with some chores." Temperance replied, noting the cold look on Antonia's face. "Ant, are you okay, sweetheart?" Antonia simply nodded her head and furrowed her brow._

_"When is daddy coming home?" Grace asked. _

_Antonia looked to Grace, and then back to her mother, who shook her head. Since Antonia had seen Booth, she had been told not to tell Grace anything about his condition. She was far too young to understand the implications of amnesia and memory loss. Temperance didn't want to confuse her, and have her ask too many questions. She was especially concerned that she'd ask questions that Temperance wasn't prepared to answer. "Daddy will be home in another day or two, sweetie. The doctors are making sure that he's doing better before they let him out of the hospital." She said, watching Grace's eyes glance to Antonia, and back at her mother._

_"Is it because you hit him hard in the tummy, mommy?" Grace asked._

_Temperance felt her throat start to close up at the question, and she tried to control her breathing, but was starting to feel a little dizzy. "Baby… Daddy's tummy is okay."_

_"You hit him really hard, Mommy… again and again, and again…"_

_"Mommy?" Antonia asked. _

_"Gracie…" Temperance said, shaking her head._

_"Mommy, did you hit Daddy? Really?"_

_"We're not talking about this, girls." Temperance replied. Her hands were trembling on the steering wheel. _

_"Mommy, did you?" Antonia asked, looking to Grace. The other little girl seemed very insistent. Antonia looked to Seeley, who decided suddenly that his fingers were more interesting than the ensuing conversation. "Mommy?"_

_"Antonia, enough!" Temperance snapped loudly, surprising herself with the volume of her voice. "Mommy said that we're not talking about it. We are not talking about it." She said, catching the look of shock in her daughter's face. Temperance instantly felt guilty, and tears prickled her eyes. "Mommy said we're not talking about it right now, please." She whispered._

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 21- 1:15 AM<em>**

Temperance carefully placed her daughter in her bed, covering her securely with her covers. She kissed Antonia's forehead and the little girl rolled to her side, snuggling with her stuffed elephant. "I love you, baby girl."

Temperance then quietly moved from the room, carefully closing her daughter's door. Her attention was caught by the light beneath Grace's bedroom door. Her brow furrowed and she stepped down toward the bedroom. She opened the door slowly and was greeted by two bright blue eyes looking at her from the small table in the room. Grace then turned her attention back to the blocks she was stacking. "Gracie?" Temperance whispered. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

Grace shrugged her shoulders and continued to play with her blocks. Temperance sighed and walked around the table, sitting carefully in the tiny chair across from Grace. "Baby?" Temperance whispered.

Grace looked up at her mother and held a block just over her most recent pile of blocks, lifting her eyebrows at her mother. She carefully placed the block on top. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"No." Grace replied, reaching into the bin for another block, Temperance reached over and pulled the box out of her reach. "Mommy." She whimpered, pouting.

"You need to go to bed." Temperance replied.

"I don't want to go to bed." Grace pouted, reaching for the next bin, Temperance grabbed that one from the table as well. "Mommy!" Grace shrieked.

"That is enough." Temperance whispered angrily, sensing that if she didn't put out the tantrum now, then Grace wouldn't be the only child in the house awake. "Grace Keenan Booth. Look at mommy."

"I want to play." She growled, holding in her anger.

"It is time for bed."

"I don't want to go to bed! I don't want to!"

"I don't care if you want to or not." Temperance said, lifting the girl from her chair, she struggled a bit, but really had no strength to fight her mother's grip. "You need your sleep."

"No! No, no!" Grace exclaimed as she started to cry, gripping her mother as she fought back. "No, Mommy… no bed, please! Please!" She exclaimed. "When I close my eyes, Daddy leaves." She exclaimed. "I don't want Daddy to go! Don't make Daddy go!" She said, burying her head into her mother's shoulder, Temperance cradled the little girl carefully in her arms.

"Baby girl…" Temperance whispered, rocking her carefully, she sat in the rocking chair in the room with her daughter, letting her grip her tightly. "That's just a dream, little one… that's not real. Shh… just a dream." She whispered, rocking her gently to calm her down.

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 20th- 9:15pm<em>**

_Temperance stepped into the kitchen and found her husband standing at the sink, drying a plate. She approached him slowly and quietly, placing a hand on his shoulder. She felt him jerk back, his gasp was a bit disconcerting. He turned and a smile climbed up his lips, though he could feel his heart pounding in his chest. It had been that way every time she had touched him, almost as if her touch made him hypersensitive. "Hey." He said, allowing a smile onto his lips, she smiled back at him._

_"Parker, Seeley, and Antonia are in bed." Temperance said softly. _

_"Okay." Booth nodded. "Grace?"_

_"I'm leaving that particular task to you. Daddy," she said matter-of-factly._

_"Bones." Booth shook his head. "Bones, she won't go to bed for me. Please don't make me do this."_

_"Booth." Temperance said, holding her own. "I put three other children to bed. I have to check Antonia's homework, and then all I want to do is take a relaxing bath." She said, taking a step forward. She could sense that he was feeling a bit uncomfortable, but pressed on anyway. "If she goes to bed without too much of a fight, maybe you could join me." She said, lifting an eyebrow, she hoped that she could entice her husband. Instead, his response was to exchange a look of panic._

_"I can't do it, Bones. She doesn't listen to me. She won't." _

_"Booth, she's your daughter." Temperance argued. "She loves you."_

_"She doesn't love me, she loves who I used to be." He said, stepping away from her, he walked in the opposite direction._

_"Don't walk away from me, Booth." She said, exasperated. "I just want you to put our daughter to bed… I'm not asking you to cure the common cold. I'm tired, all I want to do is relax right now. I've been going non-stop since the accident, since you came home from the hospital. All I'm asking for is a night off."_

_"A night off?" He snapped. "You want a night off? A night off from being a parent? She's your daughter too." Booth exclaimed. "At least she believes you when you tell her who you are!" _

_"Don't." Temperance said, lowering her voice. "Don't raise your voice in this house. If you're upset, then you can leave… but we will not have a shouting match. I am asking you, Booth… please… I'm tired of the excuses. Stop trying so hard, and just be yourself." _

_"I don't know who I am!" He shouted, not heeding her warning. They stood together at a stalemate, her eyes full of fire, and his angry and full of doubt. He had no more fight in him, and knew that arguing with her was a losing battle. He turned sharply and walked toward the door for the kitchen._

_"Where are you going, Booth?" She asked._

_"I'm going to go put 'your' daughter to bed." He snapped, pushing his way from the room, letting the door slam behind him_

* * *

><p><strong><em>December 21st - 2:32 am<em>**

Temperance could feel the tear rolling down her cheek. She knew that he was just afraid. She knew that he was not the selfish man that he had seemed in those moments earlier that evening. He was frustrated, she was frustrated, and all of the stress and all of the anger was coming to a violent boil. She knew when he stepped out of the house that evening that he had every intention of returning. She knew that he would never walk away from her, from their family.

She rocked her little girl slowly in the rocking chair, listening to the soothing squeak of the old chair beneath her. She listened to her daughter's breath as it deepened. Very slowly, she lifted her daughter and herself from the old chair, hearing the gentle rumble of the rocker on the wooden floor come to a slow stop.

She carefully set her daughter, her Grace atop the sheets among her stuffed animals and blankets. She pulled the blanket up on her baby girl and dropped a gentle kiss on her cheek. When she stood, she heard a gentle creaking sound, that she first thought was the rocker settling. She glanced to the chair and noted that it was no longer moving. The gentle creaking continued, and Temperance turned her attention to the window. She turned off the main light in the room, and walked toward the window. The glow of the nightlight was the only reflection on the dark window.

The creaking continued, and her eyes focused on the yard below. She could see the swing set clearly from Grace's bedroom, and had initially thought that it was simply the wind blowing the swings. Though when she focused her attention on the swings themselves, she could clearly see the form of a man sitting in the silence of his own thoughts. She knew who the man was, there was no denying that figure, even in the darkness of the predawn hours. His head lifted just then, and against the glow of the bedroom light, she could see his face looking up at the window. She couldn't tell if his eyes were pleading, or if they were full of sorrow. Without a second thought, she stole herself from the window, and with a glance to her sleeping daughter, she hurried toward the stairs, and to her husband's side.


	10. Frozen

_**December 21st-** _

_Ace maneuvered the car down the familiar suburban street, his eyes wandering to his companion in the passenger seat. The self piteous atmosphere had dissipated into a soft, somber moment of peace between friends. As he pulled to the front of the house, Ace could feel a slight tension in the air, and paused. "Do you want me to take a couple more spins around the block?" He asked. He was sure not to sound coddling, and Booth could see that he was serious._

_"No." Booth replied. He knew that avoidance would get them nowhere. He was tired, and at least now he was warm. The SUV was pulled into park, and idled for several moments._

_"Where are the Christmas lights?" Ace said, glancing to the house. He had noticed earlier in the week that their typically colorful house was dim and dark, and though it was late, he could see that the yard was even free of holiday decorations._

_"Bones said that we don't decorate the house for Christmas." Booth stated flatly. He glanced to the house, and sighed._

_"You're pathetic." Ace said suddenly._

_"Excuse me?" Booth said, furrowing his brow. He could feel the tension mounting in his stomach, knotting it up. His fists balled up slightly._

_"You." Ace said finally. "Look at you… you're like a goddamned whipped puppy. It's just pathetic. You should be ashamed of yourself." Ace said. His face was serious, and there was no sign that he was joking around._

_"What the hell does that mean?"_

_"Bones said we don't decorate the house for Christmas." Ace mocked. "She says that every year, Booth. Every single year, she tells you that you don't decorate the house for Christmas… and do you know what you do?"_

_Booth didn't answer. He knew that Ace was trying to make a point, and though he may have felt slightly insulted, he also knew that his friend loved him, and was trying desperately to simply make his point._

_"You go out… and you buy the biggest damned Christmas tree that you can find… and you somehow manage to fit it in the front window… You line the roofline with Christmas lights, you have this ridiculously gigantic inflatable snowman that you put right in the middle of the damn lawn. You and the kids spend hours checking lights, and making sure they're just right. Where is your Christmas tree, Booth? Where are the lights? Where are your damn balls, man?" Ace ranted. He shook his head and looked straight ahead. "When you look at the house like that, what is the first damn thing that comes to mind, Booth?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"Come on, Booth. You want love, and warmth in your home. You have to give it in order to receive it. You need to just stop thinking about what other people expect, and what people tell you, and do whatever you want to do. Because right now you're not Booth, and you're not Deuce… you're just some guy tiptoeing through your family's life worried that you're going to step on their toes. If you want some damn Christmas lights on the house, and a tree… then you go out and get it! You've fought so hard to get what you deserved. You got it now, and you're too worried about losing it to enjoy it. They're not going anywhere unless you push them there, Booth. Doc tested you, and you failed miserably." He said coldly._

_"Well what the hell am I supposed to do? Start an argument with her?"_

_"If that's how you feel… yeah, start an argument with her. See how it feels to have a little bit of conflict."_

_"We already had an argument tonight, Ace. It made me feel like a piece of crap."_

_"Because you were arguing about all of this shit." He said, waving his arms around. "Argue about Christmas lights, Booth… argue about your kids wearing mismatched socks. Argue about whether or not you're shouting too loud at the hockey game on the television. You and Temperance are two of the strongest willed people I have ever met. You are constantly interacting, bickering, besting one another, and I'm getting tired of you letting her win all of the time."_

_Booth sat for a second, sighing as he looked to the house. He could feel a deep melancholy starting to seep into his mind. His eyes traveled over the porch, the door, the windows of his family's house. He sighed._

_"Just think about it, okay?" Ace implored him. "You may not know what has happened in the last four years, Booth… but if there is anything in this world that you know best, it's Temperance Brennan. She just wants you to stick up for yourself. That's what she wants, that's what she's waiting for. She's waiting for you, Booth."_

_"I want to ask her about what happened."_

_"Then ask her. She's going to tell you the truth." Ace said softly._

_"I don't want her to have to relive it." Booth said, glancing to him. "I don't want to see the pain in her eyes."_

_"But by not talking about it, it's just building up. She relives it every time she sees you sleeping. Every time you close your eyes, blink… she sees that moment, Booth. If she talks about it, then it will free her of that burden."_

_"Have you been hanging out with shrinks?" Booth asked, lifting an eyebrow._

_"Just get the hell out of my car and go see your family, okay? You're a pain in my ass." Ace said, shaking his head in faux irritation._

_"Fine." Booth said with a sigh. He reached for the door handle. "Thanks for finding me, Man." Booth said, opening the door to the cold, blustery outside. Booth held out his fist to his old partner._

_"That's not my job, Booth… that's your job." Ace said, shrugging, he bumped Booth's fist with his and watched the other man nod solemnly. Booth took a step back and waved. The SUV pulled from the curb slowly, and Booth watched it crunch through the frozen ice on the road as it disappeared around the next corner._

_He stood for a moment, staring down the darkened street, still feeling the warmth of the car radiating from his body, and quickly cooling in the frozen air. He turned toward the house and took a step forward down the sidewalk toward the house. He felt a shiver roll through his body and swallowed hard. Ace's words bounced around in his mind. He felt his heart jump when he saw the shadow of someone walking past the sidelights on the front door as it moved toward the stairs. He could feel his heart beating in his ears, and a panic rising in his belly. He wasn't ready to see her just yet, he wasn't ready to face her._

_He needed more time._

_He had no intention of leaving, but he just wasn't quite ready to step through the front door just yet. He needed just a little more time. He walked around the side of the house, the icy snow crunching beneath his feet, he slipped through the gate on the small white fence that surrounded their small backyard. He spied the swing set, and watched as the cold wind blew gently across the seats, sending them swaying back in forth in a lonely rhythm._

_Booth walked up to the swing and pushed down on the seat, noting that it was large enough for an adult to sit in, and he carefully placed his weight down onto the seat of the swing. He could hear the gentle groan of the chain against the hook that held the swing in place and closed his eyes against its longing call. He focused on the snow before him, thinking and conceiving his next move. He was focusing on the ground when he saw the reflection of light in the house hit the snow before him._

_He looked up into the window, and what he saw nearly took his breath away. The figure of a girl in the window._

_Antonia?_

_That was his first thought, and immediately he felt a sharp pang of guilt cut across his belly. That wasn't Antonia, it couldn't be Toni. Could it be her?_

_Grace._

_His heart beat faster, and he smiled at the vision of the tiny child standing in the brightly lit room, her fingertips touching the glass for a moment. He didn't know why, but he smiled, and he could picture her bright blue eyes. They were as blue as her mother's, as blue as the ocean, as blue as the expansive sky. And after a moment, she turned._

_He could feel the cold biting him, his legs holding him still on the swing as she walked out of the view of the window. Suddenly, the wind felt harsher, and the quick beating of his heart slowed. He closed his eyes and kept still for several minutes, trying to imagine the warmth of the house when it was decorated and filled with happy, giggling children. He found the weight of his feet on the ground to be a bit much, so after a moment he let his knees lift slightly._

_The gentle creak of the swing was almost relaxing to him, back and forth he let the cold wind slap his face with each forward and backward movement. The minutes paced by quickly. At one point, he found himself humming softly to himself, a tune that sounded familiar but he couldn't quite place. The tune was not the same as the lullaby he'd sing to Antonia, and on the tip of his tongue, he could almost find words for the song. He tried to relax, focus on the melody and relax. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting there in the cold, and with his eyes closed, he sensed that the light upstairs had been darkened._

_When he opened his eyes and looked up to the window, the main light had been turned off, but still the glow of the night light remained. After another moment or two, he saw the distinct figure of Temperance standing in the window above him. His eyes locked on her face, and though he couldn't see her expression, he felt his heart sink when she stepped away from the window._

_He gritted his teeth in an attempt not to cry. He tried to find the strength to stand up and enter his own home. He knew that he had no choice. He needed to face his fear. His eyes opened as he stood up, and his heart leapt into his throat when he noticed the open door and the woman standing in the light of the back porch._

_He stood still, unable to move from either the cold, or fear, he wasn't sure._

_"Bones." He whispered._

_She shivered, and said nothing._


	11. The Best Medicine

**_December 21st - 2:42am_**

This moment of complete standstill between her and Booth pulled Temperance into a time and place that she remembered from long ago. It reminded her of a moment when she had chosen to pull from those she loved in an attempt to salvage the last vestiges of her own sanity.

She thought for a moment as she stood facing this man that she knew better than she knew herself. She thought back to that moment that he stepped through her door for the first time after he had been released from prison. She thought of that cold, rain soaked, forgiveness seeking man. She thought of him pleading with her, begging for her to let him in. She thought of her refusal to let him in, that panicking feeling she experienced threatened to surge once more.

He was motionless in the cold. She could tell by the pale color of his skin that reflected from the moonlight, that he had been sitting on the swing for quite a while. He almost looked as if he was beyond the point of shivering. Frozen.

She, however, was not. She was still warm from the safety from the house, and the harsh wind was painful against her skin.

"Bones?" Booth said again. His voice was clear, and his lips trembled slightly. She wore no coat, and he noticed that she shivered again. His eyes darted to her feet, and he was grateful that she had at least put on shoes before she came outside. "Bones, it's too cold." He said, feeling a strong sense of protection over the woman in front of him. He knew that he was in love with her, that they were in this together. He knew that there was nobody in the world that he could love more than the woman before him.

Was it enough?

She straightened and tilted her head just slightly. She had half expected him to simply turn and continue sulking. She wanted to speak but couldn't find the words she needed to say. She could feel a slow simmer of anger beneath the surface, and the warmth of that anger was starting to burn her cheeks. She set her jaw and simply watched him.

He watched her crystal blue eyes sparkle under the moon's light, the blue matching the color of the snow on the ground. He could hear the gentle groan of the swing behind him swaying in the wind, smell the wood burning in a distant fireplace. His hands balled into fists, squeezing tightly, he could feel the bitter cold biting at his skin. "Bones." He said.

She listened to him say her name. Twice questioningly, and once was more of a whisper. Temperance was finding herself balancing on a precipice between crying and screaming, and her resolve was swaying right along with the bitter wind.

She shivered.

"Bones, please. It's too cold." He said, finding his footing, he stepped toward her. The snow crunched beneath his feet as he approached her, and without a glance in his direction, she stepped off the porch and walked past him into the yard. "Bones, where are you going? You're going to freeze." He said, turning around to watch her. She turned to face him, and the light blue from the moon was now shadowing her eyes, her teeth were gritted. He couldn't tell if it was the cold or anger, and quickly found his answer.

"So now you're worried about me?" She asked sharply. There was no warmth in her tone. It had quickly surpassed motherly and concerned, and had moved directly into a shrill bark. "Now you're worried about me?" She repeated.

"Bones."

"No." She said, shaking her head. "No. If you want to talk to me, you can talk to me out here. You can talk to me right here." She said, shivering again, she pointed at the frozen ground.

"We can go inside. We can talk inside where it's warm."

Her reply was a silent crouch to sit on one of the swings.

"Bones, this is crazy. It's freezing outside." He approached her, and watched her eyes lift to meet his again.

"Then you had better start talking." She snapped.

He could literally feel the anger and contempt radiating from her, and somehow knew that apologizing was not the right move to make. "What do you want me to say?" He asked. Her eyes lifted to his, and the anger was as sharp as daggers.

"That's not up to me."

He turned and sat on the swing beside her, listening to the low, grating groan of the chain. "Then you do want me to say something?"

She shook her head and lifted her legs, letting the swing slide her forward and back. The movement of her legs was keeping her slightly warm, but the whipping wind on her face was taking that warmth back in spades. She said nothing to his words, and could literally feel his silent desperation from the way he was following her with his eyes. "You walked out on us." She said, stopping herself from swinging, her eyes stared directly into his.

The list of excuses and reasons, explanations rolled through his mind like a news ticker, and each was as lame and as flimsy as the next.

So he said nothing.

She had stated a fact, and he didn't refute it. She felt a shiver pierce her body, and lifted her legs again, pulling her eyes from his in an attempt to warm herself a bit.

He saw the shudder of her body, and reached out, grabbing hold if the chain. He stopped the swing, yanking it toward himself, watching as she lost her balance and started to fall. He swung himself around and landed on his knees in front of her, catching her against him so she wouldn't land on the ground. Her eyes were widened in surprise, and he held her close to him, his arms locked around her body. She could see a quick flicker of desperation, and in a moment when she thought he would beg for mercy, he did something she didn't expect at all.

He started to laugh.

It wasn't a bitter laugh, or one filled with worry or fear. It wasn't nervous or panicked. This laughter was full of mirth and genuine happiness, and because of that, it only sparked her anger. She suddenly felt self conscious, and unsure of his reaction. It sounded foreign to her right now, because she hadn't heard his laugh in such a long time. It was uninhibited, and unguarded, when all he had been since the incident was closed off and cold.

"Why are you laughing at me?" She asked, her body still pressed against his, their faces just inches apart. He still held her tightly in his arms, and his head tipped back as his laughter continued. "Booth? Why are you laughing at me?" She asked.

He couldn't contain himself, he couldn't stop the inappropriate reaction. He gasped for air as he gripped her, and he could feel himself falling backwards. He looked up into her eyes, and could see that she couldn't find the humor in the situation, and after a moment, he forgot too. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he calmed, gasping for air. After a moment or two, he sighed as he finally calmed, and looked directly into her eyes. "I love you, Bones." He whispered, his laughter turning into a sob, as he buried his head in her shoulder.

She could say nothing but wrap her arms around him, and her weight pushed them off balance suddenly, as he rolled backwards with him on top of her. He landed on his back against the snow covered ground, his body trembling with cold and gentle sobs as she held him. After a moment, she realized his trembling was not crying at all, but he had begun to laugh again. "Booth! Stop laughing at me!" She exclaimed, feeling her own giggle rising up, struggling against him. She could feel him pulling her against him. "Just stop!" She exclaimed, trying not to laugh at his playful antics, raising her fist to give him a light hearted punch, she stopped, her fist in midair, her face suddenly white with panic.

"Bones?" He asked, watching her eyes flick from one of his to the other quickly. "Bones, hey… are you okay?"

"No." She said, scrambling to try to get off him. "No…" She said, feeling his arms tighten around her. "Booth, just let me go." She grunted, trying to stand up. He relented after a moment, all signs of happiness and laughter drained from him the moment she was out of his arms. She stood up and brushed herself off, feeling the cold chill of the wind whipping against her now. "Come in the house." She said, a stern look on her face. She walked around him and stomped toward the house. When she reached the porch, she turned to see that he was still lying on the ground. "Booth. Stop fooling around."

He didn't answer.

Panic started to rise in her chest and she felt a violent shiver shoot through her body, visions flashing. "Booth! Please!" She shouted.

He moved, still lying in the snow, he turned his head. "I'm looking at the stars." He said, turning his attention back to the sky. He waited for several seconds, and then heard the impatient crunching of Temperance's feet in the snow coming toward him.

"You're going to get hypothermia, Booth."

"Can't you just say frostbite, Bones?" He asked.

She watched him on the ground, and felt a familiar pang in her belly, and his charm smile slowly appeared. "Please come inside." She whispered, blinking away tears that were threatening to fall.

"Will you tell me what happened?" He asked.

"Booth, you know what happened." She said, a shudder in her voice. He turned his head away, and continued looking up into the sky. "Booth, please come inside…"

"I don't know everything. I only know what other people have told me. I want you to tell me what happened." He said, looking up at her, he watched the pain in her eyes, and almost relented. "I need you to tell me." He said.

"And if I don't tell you, then you're going to stay out here and freeze to death?" She asked. "You're trying to blackmail me?"

"What goes around, comes around." He said, turning his attention back to the stars.

He could sense her pause. He then heard her slowly turn around. His eyes flickered to Temperance, and he watched, and listened to her slowly walk away. She was just about to reach the step to the porch and she started to turn. He then turned his attention back to the sky.

There was another long pause.

"Booth?" She said, her voice strained and full of exhaustion.

"Mm…?"

"Please?" She whispered.

He rolled slightly, and ended up on his side, looking over at her standing by the porch steps. "Bones…?" He said softly.

Slowly, she nodded her head, and took a step backward toward the porch, stepping backwards up onto the step.

Carefully, he pulled himself from the ground, keeping his eyes on Temperance the entire time. She stood on the top step, waiting for him as he slowly approached her. Their eyes were in the middle of a private conversation, when she felt his cold hand enter hers. "You'll tell me?" He whispered.

"On one condition." She said, swallowing hard, she concentrated on the zipper pull on his jacket.

"And what is that?" He asked sincerely, watching her lips tremble slightly, the upper one curling into that sly, lopsided grin that he always fell for.

"You come to bed with me." She whispered. "To our bed." She said, looking up into his eyes, she saw only a moment's hesitation.

"Now who is bribing who here?" He asked, suddenly nervous at the proposal.

"Deal, or no?" She asked.

Slowly, he brought her hand to his lips, pressing them against her cold flesh, he kept his eyes directly on hers. "Deal." He said, rubbing his thumb across her skin, as he released her hand, and she turned. He stepped into the house behind her without an ounce of hesitation.


	12. Compromise & Promise

Once they stepped into the doorway, Booth turned to close and lock the door behind him. He turned then to face Temperance, and she was standing just feet from him. Her eyes were locked on his face for a moment, and the expression that crossed her face was familiar, but he couldn't quite read it. "What?" he asked, keeping his voice down.

"Your shoes." She said, nodding her head toward his feet, she had a strange twitch in her lip. "Take your shoes off." She whispered. "And your jacket…"

He paused and watched her carefully, her eyes dancing over his frame as if she were cataloguing something, thinking of something. She seemed almost amused by the moment, and it intrigued him that after her earlier anger that she should seem so amused. He slipped his shoes from his feet, and stared down at his dark colored socks. He looked up at Temperance and noticed that she was also staring at his feet. The playfulness that had been in her eyes was gone, replaced with a sense of longing and sorrow. He knew that it wasn't about the socks, it was something else. He knew that it was the real 'him' that she missed. He felt incredibly guilty for his behavior, for their argument. He felt awful about the outcome of the evening, and could see the exhaustion in her eyes that he had caused.

"Temperance?" He said, her name sliding from his lips slowly, pronouncing each and every syllable sharply. She looked up at him. "I'm sorry."

"Your jacket too." She said, ignoring his apology for the moment, she watched his brow furrow in frustration. "You're dripping water on the floor, and…"

"I don't care about the damn floor, Bones!" He snapped, catching the twinge of hurt in her eyes that disappeared quickly into her look of concentration. "I apologized to you, and you're not even acknowledging it."

Her head tilted, and she kept her temper at bay for a moment. "What are you apologizing for, Booth?"

"You… you know what I'm apologizing for." He stammered, his anger quickly dissipating into confusion. "You know I'm apologizing for leaving, for fighting with you earlier. I'm sorry."

"I understand." She said, and kept her eyes trained on his. "I understand that you're sorry."

"But you don't accept my apology?" He asked, feeling the heat of anger rising in his chest. She could be so stubborn at times, and lately it seemed like it was all a test.

"Why should I accept it?" She asked. "Accepting the apology only indicates that I accept your behavior earlier. I don't accept that behavior. I understand that you feel remorse for the argument, and that you wish to make amends with me for walking out on us, but I do not accept your apology. I accept the changes that should come with that apology, Booth. I accept the fact that you'll try better."

"Why do you have to be so goddamned argumentative, Bones?" Booth snapped.

"I'm proving a point." She stated. "Now take your jacket off, please."

"Whatever." Booth pulled at the jacket and ripped it from his shoulders. He shoved it into her arms, and pushed past her toward the living room.

"Booth." She called to him, turning to follow his retreating form. "Booth, don't walk away from me."

"I'm tired of being tested, okay?" He said, feeling the burning sensation on his skin from the warmth of the house against his cold skin. "I'm tired of… you being stubborn, and… and so damn argumentative. I'm tired of your points, and your games… I'm tired of it all." He said, slamming his hand against the door, he stormed into the living room.

Temperance slammed his coat onto the counter, and followed after him with equal fire in her step. She stepped into the living room quickly, and slowed her pace when she saw him standing by the couch. Her heart caught in her throat. He looked wounded and hurt.

He looked lost.

"Booth?" She whispered. "Booth, talk to me please."

He shook his head and continued to stare at the couch. "Bones, its three o'clock in the morning. I think that we've done enough talking. We should just go to sleep, okay? We're both irritable, and now is clearly not the time to deal with this."

She gritted her teeth and kept her cool, something that she was fighting very hard to do. Her cheeks were burning from the cold and wind, and she could see by his lack of eye contact, that he was very worked up. "We're not going to get anywhere if you keep acting like this." She said, lowering her voice. She took two steps toward the stairs and looked over at him, watching him standing above the couch, his eyes on the floor in front of him. "You're irrational, angry… we're not going to get anywhere, Booth." She said, hoping for some kind of reaction.

He gave her nothing.

"Are you coming to bed?" She whispered, holding her breath for the answer, she didn't have to wait long.

"No." He said, shaking his head. "No, you're right…" He said, looking up at her. "We're not getting anywhere."

"So you're not coming to bed?" She asked. She could feel her anxiety quickly transforming to anger again, and clenched her teeth. "You know what? Forget it." She said angrily. "Sleep wherever you want to sleep. I'm going to bed." She said, turning toward the stairs. She climbed the first two steps and looked back at him, watching his eyes on her for a moment, she paused. After a moment, he looked back to his feet. Shaking her head angrily, she ascended the stairs and went directly to their bedroom, alone.

* * *

><p>Temperance swung open the door to her bedroom and stormed past the bed. She could feel her teeth grinding together, and her ears were warm from a mixture of cold and anger. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, moving to the sink. She stared at herself in the mirror as she pulled her hair into a ponytail, and watched her eyes start to well up with tears of anger.<p>

"I will not… let this get to me." She growled at her reflection. She knew that she only had a couple of hours to sleep before the kids woke up for school. She knew that she only had that short period of time to even attempt to get rest, and her exhaustion was overwhelming. The anger brewing inside her though was only riling her up, sending shots of adrenaline through her body.

She could hear his voice in her head; feel the anger in his voice, his accusations. She clenched her teeth harder and turned away from the mirror. Temperance covered her face with her hands, rubbing her skin with the palms of her hand slightly as she took slow, deep breaths. The tears were threatening to fall, and she knew that her resolve was slowly crumbling. "No." She whispered to herself. "No, you will not let this break you." She said as she turned and faced the mirror. She glared at her reflection. "You will not let this break you."

As soon as Temperance mumbled the words, she felt ridiculous. Talking to herself was a ridiculous thing, and it was not a solution. He had been the one to start the argument that evening, refusing to help her. He had been the one that had walked out. It was him that made her worry; it was him that kept her awake. He was the reason she was so wrapped up in her own insomnia, her own mind, and her own raging thoughts. He was the reason she was so angry, and the reason she couldn't sleep. She was letting him pull her in so many directions that she didn't know which way was up anymore. She needed to stop everything from turning in circles. She needed to stop everything from being upside down. She needed to stop him from driving her into a downward spiral.

With a swift and fluid motion, she swung open the bathroom door. Her determination to find him and give him a piece of her mind was driving her every movement. It was this drive that caused her to start to swing the bathroom door closed, her hand holding onto the edge of the door as she marched into her bedroom. Her eyes widened when she stepped into the bedroom, however and spied the large body that was sprawled across her blankets on the bed. She gasped in surprise, and forgot to move her hand, sending the door slamming onto her fingers.

Her reaction was a yelp, pulling her hand from the door, she grabbed hold of it at the sharp jolt of pain. She held her breath to keep from yelling out in pain, and closed her eyes as she gripped her hand. Before she could turn toward the bed, his arms were already around her.

"Geez, Bones…" He said, trying to get her to let go of her hand so he could look at it. "What did you slam your hand in the door for?" He asked.

Her reaction was to turn around against his chest, and push against him. "Why do you think I did it? You scared me!" She exclaimed, dropping her voice, she pulled her hand from his and let out a pain filled whimper as she took a step back. "What are you doing in here?" She asked.

"Here, let me see your hand." He said, reaching for it.

"It's just fine, Booth…" She said, flexing her fingers, she winced. "It's fine."

"It's not fine." He said, taking her hand in his delicately. "Here…" He said, holding her hand in his, he brought it slowly to his lips, keeping her eyes in direct contact with his. He very delicately kissed her fingertips. "See… now it's better." He said.

She pouted slightly at his presence, but all of the anger she had been harboring for that one explosive second had been drained from her. He kissed her fingers again. She felt her knees wobbling slightly, her breath was still held. "What are you doing in here?" She whispered.

"I'm going to bed." He said, nodding toward the mattress. "Are you coming to bed?" He asked, purposely ignoring the earlier tirade that he knew had been headed in his direction.

She wasn't sure how to respond to him, or how to react. It had been only moments before that she had so much anger and contempt for him that she was nearly numb inside. But now, all she could feel was an intense surge of anxiety. She had no words on her lips, no thoughts in her mind, as her fingers throbbed slightly in his grip. "Booth." She whispered.

"Yes?" He whispered, tilting his head, he listened sincerely.

"I love you." She whispered, her voice cracking as she spoke.

"I love you, Temperance." He replied, sensing her moment of pause, he took advantage of it. He put his hands on her shoulders, and very gently pulled her to him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head, feeling the eventual release of her guard fall to the ground. Her arms wrapped around him and latched, as he cradled her in a massive hug. He kissed her head again, as she and all of her anger melted into him completely.

After several moments of holding one another, Booth pulled slightly from the hug in an attempt to look into Temperance's eyes. "I'm tired." He whispered. She nodded and flicked her eyes to the bed and back to Booth. "Are you sure that you want me to?"

Without a moment's hesitation, she said softly. "Take off your pants." Booth nearly choked on his own tongue when he heard what she had said. His eyes widened, and she let out a humored laugh. "You were in the snow, Booth. You're going to get the comforter all wet." She said, shaking her head.

"Oh." He said, laughing nervously. "Right."

He turned and walked toward the taller dresser, and opened the second drawer. "Your sweats are in the third drawer." She said, watching him nod his head. She could see that he was still a bit flustered. She knew that since he had come home, he rarely went into their bedroom, and only if he was looking for something specific like clothes. He had stated that he wanted to give her privacy, even against her protests. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and turned around, noting that Temperance was already sliding into her side of the bed. She allowed him a moment of privacy as she busied herself with the sheets and blankets.

He quickly pulled off his wet jeans, discarding them in a pile by the wall, he slipped into his sweatpants and then peeled his t-shirt from his chest. He turned to see her eyes on him, and suddenly felt very self conscious. "I have seen you naked, Booth." She smiled. "Antonia may have been conceived by donation, but Gracie was most certainly conceived naturally."

"Okay, okay…" He said, shaking his head at her attempt at humor, he quickly crawled into the bed beside Temperance. He turned off the light on the bedside table and settled on his side of the bed. It felt strange and familiar all at the same time, and as if she knew his thoughts, Temperance lay with her back to him, and pushed her body against him tenderly. He rolled to his side with his arm extended, wrapping it securely at her waist, he pulled her into his body tenderly.

"I am sorry." He whispered into her ear, his warm breath skating over her skin..

"I know, Booth." She whispered back. She could feel him suck in a sharp breath, and pushed herself into him a little more securely. "And I don't want you feel that you have to be."

"Don't you want me to remember?"

"Right now…" She paused, breathing in the scent of his closeness, the warmth of his arms. "Right now, I just want you to be right where you are."

"Bones?" He whispered.

"Hm…?"

"Promise me you'll still be in my arms when I wake up?"

"I promise you that I'll be right here when you wake up."


	13. Giving up, Giving in

It wasn't the alarm that had woken Booth from the light sleep that he had drifted into, but the sound of pounding feet in the hallway. Two small, quick, pounding feet thumped quickly up the stairs, becoming louder with each resounding thump.

The door swung open, and without a second of pause, the amplified voice of Antonia broke the quiet morning silence. "Mommy! Come quick!" She exclaimed.

The room was dark, for it was only six in the morning, and they could only see the silhouette of the little girl as Temperance nearly leapt from the bed. Her panic stiffened body was held tighter by Booth, as if his arms alone could protect her from whatever the little girl was about to exclaim. Temperance didn't pull from his arms, though she could feel her body reacting to the panic in the little girl's voice. "What is it, Antonia?" She asked sharply. The concern in her voice was evident, but she knew that her daughter wasn't averse to exaggeration.

"Daddy never came back!" Antonia exclaimed, running toward her mother's bed, she now noticed that Temperance wasn't alone in the bed, and the lights from outside illuminated the shock on her face. She jumped back in surprise, gasping. "Is that Daddy?" She whispered.

"Yes, it's Daddy." Temperance whispered back, suddenly amused at her daughter's sudden speechlessness.

"Oh." Antonia said, a slow smile rising on her lips.

Booth imagined his daughter's cheeks turning a bright pink. She took a step back and let out a little giggle. "Are you getting ready for school?" Temperance asked, breaking her daughter's focus on her father, with a smile.

"Yes! It's the last day of school!" She exclaimed. She leaned forward and kissed her mother quickly. "I love you, Daddy." She said quickly, standing up straight with a little wave.

"I love you, baby." Booth said immediately.

Antonia then turned and ran from the room quickly, carefully closing the door behind her.

The moment of silence that followed the little girl's exit was slightly awkward, and both of were so quiet, that even the sounds of their breathing was muted for a moment. Booth's grip on Temperance loosened slightly, and after a moment, he was sure he had heard a sound slide from between her lips. "Are you laughing?" He asked.

"No." She said, though her answer was clearly a lie as another giggle escaped her lips. "Did you see the look on her face?" Temperance asked.

"She looked very, very confused." Booth whispered in her ear, dropping a kiss on her temple, he heard her laughter dissolve into a wistful sigh. There was another moment of silence, and he kissed her again. "I didn't… leave you, Bones." He waited for her to reply, and when she didn't, he continued. "I just got a little lost."

She wanted to whisper back a response, but the way the words hung in the air, she could feel that her silence was soothing him. She wasn't rejecting him, wasn't arguing with him, she wasn't pushing him away. There was another moment of peaceful silence between them, before she spoke. Her voice wavered like that of a little girl, but still, the words slid from her lips eloquently. "I saw your body." She swallowed. "On the stretcher." She whispered to clarify. She turned in his arms, and caught his eyes immediately. "I saw your body, Booth."

"Bones," he whispered. He immediately felt guilty for the conversation just hours earlier. He didn't want to hurt her, and could see from the look in her eyes that every word she spoke was killing her a little on the inside. "You don't have…"

"I saw your body, Booth… and I panicked." She said with strength rising up into her sad, blue eyes. "Two times before, I had been told that you were dead. Twice… and both of those times there was no body, there was no proof. This time, it was you, right there… in front of me." She said, the words sliding from her lips in a whispered sob. "And I panicked." She whispered.

"You saved my life, Bones." He said, starting to panic himself. Tears were sliding down her cheek onto the pillow. All of the pain, and all of the broken feelings that she had felt in that moment of reality were cascading upon her right there in front of him. "Do you regret saving me?" He asked, searching her eyes for an answer, it took only a split second before her hand struck his shoulder.

"No!" She exclaimed, rolling to get out of his arms, she felt him pull her closer. It both relieved her, and heightened her need to get her distance from him. "Booth, let go." She grunted. The last thing she needed was the kids to wake up to a physical altercation between the two of them. "Booth, just let go."

"I won't let go." He whispered breathily into her ear. "I won't let go of this, Bones. Talk to me." He said with desperation. "Please just talk to me. You can trust me. Please trust me." He begged.

She stopped struggling and began to cry.

"It's alright, Bones. I'm here. I'm here, baby." He whispered. He heard her mumble something between her wracking sobs, and missed what she had said. "What was that, Bones? What did you say?"

"I said…" She whispered, sucking in a deep breath. "I said that I didn't punch you because I was trying to save you." She said clearly. "I punched you because I was angry with you for dying." She said, dissolving into a fit of sobs like no other. She turned suddenly, pushing her head into his chest. "Don't you see what this means?" She said, looking up into his eyes. "Don't you see, Booth?"

He couldn't bring himself to say anything, and he shook his head in confusion. He watched the despair in her eyes, and let her vent.

"It means that I had given up." She said in a breath that seemed to suck all of the energy from her body. "I gave up on you." She balled her fist and pressed it to his chest softly.

He lifted his hand to her fist, and covered it with his. "But you didn't." He said delicately. "Somewhere in your mind, Bones… somewhere in the depths of that magnificent brain of yours, you knew what to do. You knew what I needed. You didn't give up, Bones. You never gave up on me."

"I let you slip away." She whispered.

"You never let me slip away."

"I should have been there in that ambulance." She said, more tears rolling down her cheek.

"You were right where you should have been, Bones. You were with Gracie. You were right where you should have been." He whispered. His eyes looked to the door when he heard the patter of feet on the hardwood floor in the hallway, and the sound of Parker's voice from his bedroom. He looked back to Temperance and could see her eyelids were drooping.

"I'm so tired," she whimpered, burying her head in his chest. She felt his arms encircle her tightly.

"I know you are." He whispered. "I know you're tired, and I haven't been doing my part in all of this. I'm sorry." He let her cry into his body for several moments, raking his hand through her hair softly. "I am so sorry." He whispered. "Listen." He said, trying to get her to look at him for a moment, she reluctantly pulled from his embrace to look into his eyes. "I will get the kids ready for school, okay? You stay here and rest...it was my fault that you're so exhausted right now."

"But Booth, their routine… they have a…"

"And you can be sure that our detail oriented Antonia will keep me on point with that routine, Bones." He whispered, kissing her eyes, her nose, and her cheek. "Let me do this for you?"

"Are you sure?" She whispered sleepily.

"Rest, Bones." He whispered. "I've got this. I love you."

"I love you." She said, pulling him closely to catch his lips with her own. She closed her eyes as he deepened it, a gentle groan deep in his throat as they parted reluctantly. Her tongue darted across her lips, and a slight smile curled on her lips when she caught the darkened desire in his eyes. "Some things never change." She said softly. Her eyes closed slowly and she could feel his lips brush hers once more as she drifted off so quickly, she barely felt him slip from the bed.


	14. Chaos

**December 21st-**

There was a level of anxiousness in Booth's exit from the bedroom that was not lost on the young man who had just stepped out of his own bedroom. "Dad?" Parker said, lifting his eyebrows. "Are you okay?" Parker asked.

"I'm fine." Booth said, lifting an eyebrow in suspicion. "Why?"

"You look like you're about to be sick." Parker said, watching his father's face scrunch.

"I do not," he replied indignantly. A slow smile rose on Parker's lips. "Go get ready for school, will you?"

"I would." Parker said, looking to the closed bathroom door, "Toni is in the bathroom right now."

"Well… get… Seeley and Grace up then." He said, shaking his head. "I'll get breakfast ready."

"Alright." Parker said, watching his father for another moment. "Are you sure you're not going to need the bathroom first?" He teased.

Booth lifted his eyebrows, and Parker let out a laugh before disappearing into his bedroom. He glanced down the hallway to the farthest room, the room of his youngest daughter. He wanted to be the one to wake her, he wanted to be the one to help her get ready for school. He also knew that it was best that he just take everything one step at a time.

He turned for the stairs and climbed down quickly, turning the corner, he realized that all of the lights downstairs were still on from the night before. He quickly switched off any unneeded lamps and made his way toward the kitchen. As he stepped into the kitchen, he realized that Parker's assumption hadn't been that far off. His stomach was churning in an anxious knot. He took a deep breath and started the morning ritual that he had seen Temperance perform every school morning since he had returned from the hospital. He needed to focus on each of the children separately and take this all one step at a time.

* * *

><p><strong><em>November 23rd- 10:00AM<em>**

_Temperance had just left with Parker and Antonia, and the room seemed increasingly quiet. Despite the sounds of the machines he was hooked up to, it just felt far too quiet for his own comfort. The pain wasn't as intense as it had been that morning, and the air in the room felt stale. Between the emotional reunion of him with his children, and the loving and caring look in Temperance's eyes, he just needed to get out of that room. He needed some air, he needed reality._

_Booth pushed his blanket to the side, instantly feeling the sharp sting of pain in his side, he ignored it and shifted closer to the edge of the bed. _

_"Trying to escape?" A voice made him jump, and he looked to the partially opened door. A wheelchair sat shoved in the doorway, and Ace's eyes pierced across the room at his friend._

_"Jesus, Ace… are you trying to make me fall out the bed?" Booth snapped._

_"If you weren't teetering on the edge of the damn bed, we wouldn't be having this conversation." He said, pulling himself into the room, carefully maneuvering his extended broken leg around the bed. "So you're feeling better, I see."_

_"No." Booth said gruffly. "Have you talked to Bones?" He asked._

_"She said your brain box is scrambled." Ace replied. "That's all I needed to know." _

_"What happened to you?" Booth asked, looking down at his friend's broken leg. He pushed himself back onto the bed. It felt good to have another familiar face in the room. The vulnerable feeling that was suffocating him seemed to disappear into the stale air of the room. He knew that Ace wouldn't coddle him. He knew that if he wanted a straight answer, this is where he'd get it. _

_"Your brother happened to me. Jared ran me off the road when we were in pursuit of the suspects. It's just a broken leg… nothing I can't shake off. Becca has been waiting on me hand and foot…and…"_

_"Rebecca?" Booth asked, surprised by his friend's admission. "I don't understand. You and Rebecca?"_

_Ace paused. His eyes widened as he realized that what Temperance had said was true. Booth's memory was a complete blank. It wasn't just trauma related, or connected to the case. His memory was completely eradicated. "Rebecca and I are married." Ace said. He kept his voice even and clear, stating a fact that he hoped wouldn't set Booth off on a tirade, or a fit. He watched his friend's brow furrow, his nose flared for a moment and his eyes moved to a blank spot in the room. He took a slow, deep breath, and then focused on Ace again. "Hey, are you okay?"_

_"Yeah." Booth replied. "It's just… a lot to take in."_

_"I know." Ace replied. "And before you say anything… I didn't mean to shoot you." Ace replied. "You were the one that came charging, and…" _

_Booth let out a chuckle, his eyes sparkling behind the pain and confusion. It felt good to laugh, to not feel pressured to remember. It felt good to just be alive and know that the person in front of him wasn't expecting anything from him. "Bones told me what happened." Booth replied. "Though I'm pretty sure a gunshot feels a whole lot better than what I've got going on here." He said, touching the bandage on his side._

_"You're alive, man. That's all that matters to me." Ace said with a level of sincerity that brought silence to the room._

_The pause was long, but friendly, and Booth could tell that his friend was giving him a moment to collect his thoughts._

_"Booth?" Ace said, grabbing his friend's attention, he rolled the wheelchair closer. "Do you mind if Parker spends a few days with me and Becca?" He asked sincerely. "I mean, I figure it might be easier on Doc if there is one less kid to deal with, and honestly, I think I could use some help getting around when Bec isn't around." Ace could see the confusion in Booth's eyes. "You and Temperance have custody of Parker during the week, Booth… he lives with you."_

___"Parker lives with us?"_

_"He has his own room and everything." Ace shrugged. "Though I think he's agreed to share with Seeley until all of the arrangements are settled. Doc mentioned Seeley, right?" Ace asked, wondering if he was revealing too much information, Booth shook his head._

_"No, no." He said softly. "No, she… she told me about Seeley. She told me about him. I haven't seen him yet. I haven't seen Jared… or Grace."_

_The silence that followed his soft pause was tender, and Booth's eyes were questioning. "She is the spitting image of her mother." Ace said softly. "But her personality is all you. She's sensitive, perceptive, and very stubborn. She is tough too…"_

_"Tough?"_

_"She doesn't put up with anyone's bull. She's a fighter, just like her father."_

_"We named her after your mother." Booth said, catching the glint in Ace's eye, the other man smiled and nodded. _

_"She's my Goddaughter."_

_Booth swallowed hard, trying to hold back the emotions that were chiseling away at his resolve. "I… can't remember her, Ace. I can't even picture her in my mind."_

_"Once you see her, you'll never forget her again, Deuce." Ace said with a reassuring smile, hoping that somehow, his friend would forgive himself for something he had no choice in._

* * *

><p>Booth's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of feet pounding down the stairs, and chattering of Antonia, and Parker. Then the sound of four more feet pounding down the stairs, as Grace ran through the room toward her seat at the table.<p>

"Breakfast, here I come!" She exclaimed, climbing onto her chair, she dug her spoon in the bowl and looked up to see that it wasn't her mother standing by the kitchen sink preparing lunch, but Booth.

"Where's mommy?" She asked, wide eyed and suspicious.

"She's sleeping." Booth replied quickly. There was no pause or worry in his voice. In his head, the mantra of 'just be yourself' played over and over again. The little girl went back to eating her cereal. All of the children were dressed and ready, their hair brushed, their voices full of happiness and chaos.

Seeley was standing by one of the chairs, and looked over at Booth. "Hurry and eat… your ride is going to be here soon." He said. Seeley looked slightly confused, but climbed into his chair and ate his breakfast.

"Daddy! I can't find my bookbag anywhere!" Antonia said from her seat at the table. Booth hooked his finger on the bag that was sitting on the other side of the counter and lifted it over to her. She grinned brightly. "There it is!" She said, grabbing the bag, she chattered her thanks and started rooting through it to make sure that she had all of her things.

"Dad, Bones was supposed to buy cookies for our Christmas party today." Parker said, looking in one of the cupboards as he turned around to see that the cookies were already out on the counter. "Awesome." He said, grabbing his lunch bag.

"What are you having for breakfast?" Booth asked Parker.

"Granola bar." He said, grabbing a box from one of the cupboards, he leaned against the counter and peeled back the wrapper.

"All done!" Grace exclaimed, dropping her spoon in the bowl, she looked up happily.

"Alright, bowl in the sink…" Booth said, trying to think if he had forgotten anything that he had seen Temperance do over the past few weeks as part of their morning ritual. Grace stood up and grabbed her bowl, hurrying over to the sink, she tipped it over the edge and listened to the sound of the plastic bowl hitting the bottom with a clunk. She was followed by Seeley, who dropped his bowl into the sink as well.

The doorbell rang suddenly, and Grace grinned. "Time for school!" she exclaimed, running for the door.

Booth followed after her, and was quickly followed by Parker, Antonia, and Seeley. Grace swung open the door, and Angela smiled down at her. "Hey, Gracie."

"Hi!" She said happily.

Booth didn't see the surprised look on Angela's face, turning when Parker passed him. "Got to get to the bus." Parker said, passing his father. "See you, Dad."

"Bye Daddy." Antonia said, leaning up for a kiss, he obliged and watched as she ran out of the door with her backpack on her shoulder, hurrying to keep up with Parker.

Booth looked up and caught Angela's eye. "What?" He smiled.

"Nothing." She said in a teasing tone. "Hodgins is in the car with JV… are they ready to go?"

"Yep. All ready." Booth said.

"Daddy." Grace said, a bit of frustration in her voice. He looked down at her, and she eyed him. "Where's my jacket?"

"Right!" Booth said, moving into the house, he ushered Angela in to keep the cold outside, and hurried to find Grace and Seeley's jacket.

"You wear the green one, right?" Booth said jokingly to Grace.

"No! No Daddy, the pink one, the pink one is mine!" She said giggling as she grabbed the coat from Booth. He helped her put it on, while Angela helped Seeley.

"So where's Bren?" Angela asked, glancing to Booth as he put Grace's winter hat on over her eyes, just to hear her laugh.

"Sleeping." He said quickly. He helped Grace get her mittens on and stood up. "I figured that I had done enough sleeping on the job lately… it was her turn."

Angela smiled at his reply, standing up as she gave Seeley a pat on the head. "I hope this is the beginning of a little normalcy around here, huh?" She said encouragingly.

Booth nodded and glanced to Grace and Seeley. "Are you guys ready to go?" He asked, smiling as they both cheered happily. "Alright..." He said, crouching down to the kids. "I love you."

"Love you, Uncle Seeley." Seeley said with a hug. He then headed out onto the porch.

Grace paused before she hugged Booth, taking a long look in his eyes. "Thank you." She whispered softly, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, she wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"I love you, Grace."

There was a short pause as she hugged him tightly, closing her eyes for a moment. "I love you, Daddy." She whispered.

She pulled from the hug and turned quickly, skipping out toward the porch. Booth stood up and for a moment held his breath. He looked to Angela and slowly released it. "One step at a time." He said softly. "Thanks for taking them to school, Ange."

"Not a problem. It's a half day today… don't forget. And when Bren wakes up… tell her to call me."

"I will." Booth said, giving her a kind wave as she stepped out onto the porch with the kids. "Have a good day."

Angela waved, and Booth closed the door, watching from the sidelight of the door as the kids made their way to the car. He waited until they were secured in the seat and the car was pulling from the driveway before he tore himself from the view of the window. A small smile made its way onto his lips and he took a deep, cleansing breath.

Chaos bore peace, and for some reason, it just seemed right.


	15. Temperance

**December 21st-**

It wasn't a loud sound, or children shouting that woke Temperance from her deep slumber. It wasn't her door swinging open, or the poking of tiny cold feet into her shin. What had woken her was the silence of the house. She could still feel his warmth lingering in her heart, and the scent of him surrounded her in a warm cocoon of safety. She then realized what had woken her.

Her eyes popped open first, and she lifted her head.

Nothing but silence.

"Booth?" She called, pulling herself into a sitting position, she glanced to the clock. It was nearly eleven in the afternoon. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept this late. "Booth?" She called again.

The mornings lately had been slightly more than chaotic. There was always a fight for the bathroom, a crying child that didn't want to get up, or a near physical altercation that needed to be stopped. She would get everything cleaned up and organized just in time for the four of them to get home, and for the chaos to start all over again. But this quiet was disconcerting, and entirely too foreign to be something good.

She realized that her heart was pounding and panic was threatening to invade all of her senses. She pulled the blanket to the side and moved from the bed, instantly her body responded with a resounding ache. She grunted and forced herself to stand, shuffling across the room. "Booth?" She called.

Still, there was nothing but silence. She stepped into the hallway and looked toward the children's bedrooms. Each of their doors were closed. There were no discarded towels in the hallway, no toys littering the floor. She jumped at the sound of a dull thump above her, and a dragging sound. "Booth?" She called, concerned that something had happened, and he needed help. "Booth, where are you?"

She heard his voice from somewhere above her, and was relieved that it didn't sound alarmed. She took a step toward the children's bathroom, and remembered that the pull down for the attic was in the ceiling of that room. She opened the bathroom door, and sure enough the ladder was pulled down into the room. "Booth?" She called again.

There was a little more shuffling, and then his head appeared above her. "Hey, Bones." He said with a cheery smile. Her head tilted in confusion.

"Where are the kids?" She asked. She already knew the answer, but it was still worth asking.

"They're at school." Booth replied, furrowing his brow. "Are you alright?"

"I…yeah, yeah… I'm fine. What are you doing up there?" She asked, shuffling to the ladder, she leaned against it and looked up at him.

"Looking for Christmas decorations." He replied.

"Booth. I already told you, we don't…" She started to say, but he disappeared from view. "Booth." She said with a stubborn sigh. She climbed the ladder slowly, poking her head into the opening of the attic. Booth was now sitting beside an open box of Christmas decorations. "We usually take the boxes down out of the attic before we open them." She said, climbing the rest of the way up.

"Ha." Booth said, pointing at her, his smile brightening hers. "So you admit that we do decorate for Christmas!"

"No." She shook her head. "You decorate for Christmas… You and the children."

Booth avoided her gaze for a moment and continued looking through the boxes. "So you don't help at all?"

"Typically, you and the children decorate while I am at work… you tell the children that it's a secret… and one of them always slips up. I stay late at the lab, or go Christmas shopping, and when I return, I am surprised by the lights and decorations. Then I come inside, and we have hot cocoa and decorate the Christmas tree together." She said, watching him move a few of the decorations around in the box. He seemed captivated by something. "What is it?" She asked. Her voice was soft and coaxing. "What is it that you found?"

"Grace and I made this." Booth said. His voice was not questioning. He was stating a fact. He looked up at Temperance and let the small ornament hang off his fingertip. It was a heart made of wood, colored with a scribbled marker. Grace's picture was pasted in the center, and in careful handwriting at the bottom it said 'I Love You, Mommy.' Booth watched Temperance nod.

"You made that with her last year." She replied. "Do you remember?"

He took the ornament in his hand and held it in his palm, staring at the picture of the little girl. "I don't… remember, it just… It's like I just know that it's true. Logically, it would have to be me that helped her. It's my handwriting, and… she was far too young to do a project like this alone."

"Logic and memory go hand in hand, Booth." Temperance whispered. "It'll all come back to you."

"I just wish that I could remember the way that it feels to wake up Christmas morning with all of you. I wish that I could remember all of the happiness. You know, Bones. It's not just the memories, it's the feelings that come with them that I am missing." He paused for a moment and continued. "It feels like my life was reset back to a place where everyone was angry with me. Consciously, I know this isn't true, but I can't seem to grasp the concept that you and I found our way. We have a family. We share our lives. I love that. It's not that I don't feel the same things, Bones." He said, watching her eyes looking into his thoughtfully. "I have nothing but the most intense love for you… I am just so overrun with emotions, that I am not sure what is real, and what isn't. Do you know what I mean?"

"I understand." She nodded, leaning forward, she took the ornament from his hand and placed it in the box. She then took his hand in hers. "I was very angry at you for leaving me, Booth. I was angry when you were gone, I was angry when you returned. But at the same time, I was so overrun with emotions of your return that it was like I couldn't catch my breath. Those emotional conflicts, though not exact in nature, are very similar. My entire world was turned on its head when you came back into my life, Booth. I didn't know who to trust, or what was real."

"But you loved me?" He asked.

"I love you." She replied. "It took some time, but I came to realize that you were not just the man that I had fallen in love with. You're even more than that. This all came before Grace was born, Booth. This realization came on that day that you stepped back into your apartment, and told me that I was your family. You said that all you wanted was me and everything that comes with me." She paused, knowing that the words she spoke were true, but also seeing that he was struggling to remember them. "You said that you weren't going to let anything stand in your way. You were ready to take control, prepared to do whatever it took to get exactly what you wanted because you refused to take orders from anyone."

"And how did you respond?" he asked. His question was genuine and not laced with regret. His eyes held a solemn sincerity that had been missing since the incident. Her response was not one that he had expected, and when the crimson blush rose up into her cheeks, he couldn't help but smile. "Bones?" He asked. The solemnity of his voice had vanished, replaced by a humored chuckle. "How did you respond?"

Her lower lip slid into her mouth, and her teeth rested on it while the corner of her mouth rose in a wicked half smile. Her eyes fell to the design on his t-shirt, and her mumbled response instigated him moving closer. "What was that?"

"I told you to take your clothes off." She said to his shirt, biting a little harder on her lip, she lifted her eyes to his. She watched the brilliant smile lift onto his face and could swear that she had seen a blush rise onto his cheeks as well. "I mean… I mean, you were wet from the rain. You had been out in the rain, and I told you to take off your wet clothes because you were getting water all over the wooden floors." She stammered.

"Uh huh." He nodded, that smile still capturing her heart with every nod of his head. His hand grasped hers, and he pulled her close to him, sending them both falling backwards onto the small pile of Christmas wreaths and garland. She landed softly on him and began to laugh with him, watching him grimace at the wires from the wreaths poking at him, as she rolled over slightly and faced him.

"I'm serious." She laughed. "That's what happened!" She exclaimed, catching that passionate expression in Booth's eyes, she fell quickly into them with no want for return. She let him make the first movement, allowing him time to fully engage himself in the moment that was happening between them. His head lifted, and his lips captured hers, sending a jolt of electricity through her body so intense that she could feel her body humming against his. Her hands lifted to his face, resting on either side of his head as she pushed him harder into the decorations.

He could feel the decorations poking at his back, and the sharp sting was pulling him out of his passionate cloud. He moved them both, rolling himself atop her and around to a pile of extra blankets being stored in the attic. She groaned against his mouth as he pushed himself against her, raking her fingernails down his back he returned her expression of passion. She pulled her mouth from his, and tried to catch her breath, panting lustfully as she looked into her eyes. "What was that?" She asked coyly, watching him also try to catch his breath.

"That's me trying to get my control back." He whispered.

"It's very stimulating." She whispered. "And also a little frustrating, because…" She panted and smiled back at him. "All of this effort you're putting into gaining control, and I'm here with you, trying to lose it." She said, lowering her voice suggestively. His eyes darkened, and a soft chuckle escaped his lips as he filled the small space between them.

"Let me help you with that." He whispered breathlessly into her mouth, as he proceeded to devour her, and satisfy each and every one of her needs.


	16. Deuce

What started as a moment of whimsy quickly transformed into a passionate embrace that was so entwined that they had no idea where one moment ended, and the next began. There was no care of where they were, or what memories they could cling to, or find. They found the safety of one another's arms to be the most cathartic thing they could have asked for.

Exhausted and comfortable, they cuddled beneath the blankets that had started beneath them. Booth pulled her closer. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" He asked, his lips dropping a kiss on her crown of messy hair.

Temperance didn't answer right away, and instead pressed her face against his chest, breathing in deeply. "I missed you."

"I missed you." He replied, though his answer had a different connotation, a different implication, a different stress to it. He lifted his head and looked around. In their throes of passion, neither of them noticed the box of decorations that they had tipped over, nor the tangle of garland and Christmas lights they had rolled upon. Temperance turned to see what he was looking at, and a smile appeared on her face.

"It appears that we found our Christmas spirit." She said, turning her head to see his lifted eyebrows.

"And perhaps roused a small family of dust bunnies from their hiding place too." Booth said, his voice thick with exhaustion. Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell tickled their ears, and they looked at one another. "What time is it?" Booth asked.

"I don't know." She said, sitting up. The doorbell rang again. She held the blanket against her bare chest and looked around for her clothes. "Go answer the door." She said, grabbing for her shirt, she started to pull it on as Booth started to frantically dress.

"It's probably Angela." He said, pulling his jeans on, he zipped them and glanced to his wife. "Grace only had a half day."

"Right." Temperance nodded. "Why don't I remember that?"

Booth paused, looking up at her as he pulled his t-shirt on. "Probably because you slept in, and she told me when she picked up Grace and Seeley." He said, moving toward the ladder as the doorbell rang again. He started climb down. "Oh, Bones." Booth said, looking up at Brennan as she descended the ladder right above him. She stopped and looked down at him. "Angela wants you to call her when you wake up." He said, hitting the floor with both feet.

"What? Booth!" She exclaimed as he took off through the doorway and ran down the stairs to get the door.

Booth got to the bottom of the steps and opened the door. Out of breath, he smiled at Angela, and her eyebrows lifted at the disheveled site of him.

"Daddy!" Grace exclaimed, pushing past Angela, she hugged Booth's leg. He looked to Angela and noted the smile creeping across her face.

"What?" Booth asked.

"Did I interrupt something?" She asked slyly.

"Uh… actually no." Booth said, pointing a thumb toward the stairs, he shrugged. "Just getting the Christmas decorations down from the attic."

"I'm gonna go find mommy." Grace said, running off into the house.

"Decorations, huh?" Angela grinned.

"Yes." Booth replied, showing genuine confusion. "Do you want to come inside?"

"No… no, just dropping the little one off. I dropped JV off at the house with the nanny. I have to head back to the lab, get ready for the Christmas party." She babbled. "So… where is Bren?"

"I'm right here…" Temperance said, stepping down the stairs slowly, she held Grace in her arms and walked around the door. "Hey, Ange."

Booth's arm snaked around her waist, and the three of them stood in a virtual showdown of glances and half hidden smiles. "Thanks for bringing Gracie home."

"It was no problem. The rest of the kids have a full day…" She said, trailing off, feeling like she was now invading their privacy. It felt good to have that feeling creeping in again, stepping backwards onto the step of the porch, she gave a small wave.

"We'll see you later, Ange." Temperance said, taking a step back, Booth started to close the door when Angela's hand stopped it from closing.

"Sweetie?" Angela said, poking her head in the door. She could see Temperance's confusion and couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "You have a little… tinsel in your hair right there." She said, pointing at her friend's head. She watched as Temperance's hand went to her hair, and her cheeks immediately colored with a blush, when she saw her friend's devilish grin. "Don't forget guys… Jeffersonian Christmas party is tonight… kid friendly." She waved, slipped out of the doorway and closed it for herself, grinning the entire way back to her car.

* * *

><p>Booth turned toward Temperance, and noticed that she was avoiding eye contact, a shy expression on her face as she turned with Grace in her arms. "Bones, are you blushing?" He smiled.<p>

"I have to get Gracie some lunch." She said, bouncing the little girl in her arms as she made a quick getaway.

"Wait, wait!" he called after her, but she was too quick, and had already slipped into the kitchen with the little girl. "She already had lunch." He said, watching her turn quickly, she faced him. There was a look of amusement on her face, and he tried to hide the smile that was threatening. "If I didn't know you any better, Bones… I'd say you were avoiding me."

"What would give you that idea?" She asked, looking at Grace, she noticed the little girl was poking at something on her shirt.

"Mommy?" Grace asked. "Why is your tag on your shirt in the front?" She asked, pulling at the tag of her mother's inside out t-shirt. Temperance's eyes widened, and her husband let out a chortled laugh.

"Because mommy was silly and put her shirt on backwards." Temperance said, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. She turned and handed over the little girl to her father. "Here, you take care of her… I have… to take a shower, and get ready for the day." She kissed Grace, and handed her over to her father.

Booth took the little girl from her mother's arms, and turned as she breezed past him. "But Bones, what am I supposed to…"

Temperance turned. "You can help daddy get the Christmas decorations down from the attic!" She said excitedly.

"Yay!" Grace exclaimed, grinning brightly as Temperance disappeared from the kitchen, leaving father and daughter behind. Booth put Grace to the floor, and she quirked an eyebrow up at her father. "Let's go, daddy." She grabbed his hand.

"Alright, alright… do you even know where the decorations are?"

"No, but you do!" She said, pulling him along with her.

Booth marveled at the way the little girl had gone from not wanting to have anything to do with him the night before, to treating him like he was her favorite person. He wasn't sure if all was forgiven, or just simply forgotten for the time being. He wasn't about to complain about the change in her attitude, but he also wasn't about to forget how her mood tended to shift with the circumstance. He knew for a fact that she could to from accepting to suspicious in a matter of sixty seconds, so he chose to take advantage of each and every jovial moment he could.

He let her pull him along toward the stairs, knowing full well that the decorations had to be somewhere in storage, he laughed and picked her up, climbing the steps quickly toward the bathroom. He stepped inside, and her eyes widened at the ladder's placement. "You started without me, Daddy?" She asked.

"Mommy was going to help." Booth said, looking up the ladder. "But she's a messy helper."

"I heard that." Temperance's voice sounded from the hallway, and both looked to the door.

Booth's eyes widened in surprise and smiled. "I thought you were taking a shower."

She smiled back at him. "I am. I was just…"

"Checking on us." Booth nodded. "I got it."

"You're sure?" She asked, still concerned about all of the things they still had yet to talk about.

"We're good." Booth nodded, leaning forward, he dropped a kiss on his wife's lips.

"Oh! Ew, ew ew!" Grace exclaimed, burying her head in her father's shoulder, the two adults let out a laugh, and Temperance made her way down the hallway toward their bedroom.

Booth sighed wistfully and looked up the ladder. He held the girl tightly, and she gripped him as well. Slowly, he ascended the steps, and carefully he placed her bottom at the top, helping her slide her legs up, he instructed her not to go anywhere until he was all the way in the attic. Just as he got to the top of the steps, he heard the little girl gasp, and looked around to see her head shaking. "What?" He asked.

"We've got a lot of work to do. This place is a mess!" She exclaimed, perfectly mocking her mother as she carefully crawled to the box of fallen decorations. Booth made his way over to her, sat down and lifted the box upright again. "What were you and mommy doing up here?" She asked emphatically.

Booth didn't answer, he simply handed her an ornament. "Here you go, put that in the box." He smiled.

She took the ornament and carefully placed it in the box, and took the next ornament, as they cleaned the mess together. Booth was just lifting a plain white glass ball in his hands when the uttered question caught him by surprise.

"Are you Deuce?"

There was a collective gasp as the ornament hit the floor, shattering between the two of them, and with it, the peaceful moment between them.


	17. Squeaker

**December 21st-**

The crash of the ornament of the ground made Grace jump, a gasp on her lips as she pushed herself backwards. She tumbled into the messy pile of blankets behind her. "Oh no!" Grace exclaimed.

"Wait." Booth said, starting to feel intense panic rising in his chest. "Just… just wait a…" He said, looking around at the mess he had made. "Don't move, okay?" He said, picking up bits of the broken ornament, he could see the panic in her eyes. "I just don't want you to get cut, okay?"

Grace nodded. She could see that he was panicking, and it was making her nervous. Her question had still gone unanswered, and Booth's reaction to her question was not helping to keep her calm.

Booth had thought he was ready for every question, and that through the past month, Temperance had drilled him on specifics of each of the children that he could use to answer their questions. This was the one thing that he was unprepared for. This was the one thing that Temperance had no way of explaining to him, because he was the only one that knew what had gone into the illusion that was Deuce. He had asked Temperance about it only once, and noted the darkness in her eyes as she spoke. He never wanted to see that again.

Booth held the broken glass in his hand and looked across at the inquisitive little girl. "Why would you ask that?" He asked, keeping his voice low and even. He didn't want to sound accusatory and he didn't want to scare her. "Grace?"

"Nee." She whispered. "Nee said… sometimes you are daddy. Sometimes you are Deuce."

"Nee is wrong. I'm always daddy." He said softly.

Grace's face scrunched into a scowl. "No."

Booth wanted to argue with her, he wanted to reassure her, but he had no idea what she had been told. Their morning had gone well, and he thought their afternoon was starting to take shape nicely. He watched her eyes wander to the decorations and back to Booth. "Nee said you don't know me. Nee said that you are Deuce and not Daddy." Her voice was accusatory, not small and scared but sure of what she was saying. "That is what she said."

"She's wrong." Booth said defiantly. "She's wrong… because it doesn't matter what my name is, or who I am to someone else. It doesn't matter what I remember… because I know, Grace. I know that I love you like only a daddy can love you." He argued. "I helped your mommy make you, Grace… your last name is my last name… and you may look all the world like an exact replica of your mama, but in that chest of yours beats the heart of a Booth. You're my baby, you're my little girl. Mine."

Grace's eyes moved from her father, and focused on the box again. She sighed. "Nee says…"

"Tell me what you think, Grace. Don't tell me what your sister says. I want to know what you think is right." Booth insisted. "You can't just tell me that you're going to believe everything that everyone else says. You know what you saw, you know what you feel and what you think, Gracie. Who do you think I am? Who do you want me to be?"

"Daddy." She whispered.

"Then I'll be your Daddy." He said, setting the broken pieces of ornament beside him, he stood up as best as he could and moved closer to her. She looked up at him and moved over, making room for him. Carefully, he sat down on the blankets, and she let him pull her into his lap. He held her tenderly, wrapping his arms around her as he gently rocked them both. She pushed her body into his and felt him kiss the top of her head. "Whether I remember things or not… I just know that I love you." He whispered. "I don't have to remember that. I just know that is real deep down in my belly."

He held her for a short while, rocking her gently and whispering to her, when he heard Temperance's voice from below. He could hear her climbing carefully up the ladder, and she startled a bit when she saw the two of them sitting quietly. "Oh." She said, her brow furrowing in confusion. She could sense the quiet moment between them, and suddenly felt like an intruder. "What's going on, you guys?" She said, trying to understand the peaceful moment. "I thought you were going to decorate."

Booth smiled tenderly. "Oh, we're going to decorate alright…" He said, kissing Grace's head. "Right, kiddo?"

Grace, nodded and smiled in her daddy's arms.

"Alright…" Temperance said happily. "I'll go get that hot cocoa ready… and you two get those decorations down!" She said, carefully climbing back down the ladder. Temperance listened as she stepped to the floor, and took a step back, and after a moment she heard the excitement in Grace's voice telling her Daddy to help her get ready for Christmas.

* * *

><p>Booth cleaned the glass from the floor, and Grace waited beside him. She watched as he carefully cradled the bits of glass in his hand and told her to stay put for a moment. He disappeared down the ladder for just a moment, and when he was out of view, the darkness of the attic seemed to start to swallow her. The attic felt smaller, and she could feel her breaths becoming shallower. "Daddy." She whimpered. Her voice was small and almost whispered, but Booth had no intention on being gone long.<p>

When he poked his head back up into the attic, he immediately saw the terror in her eyes. "Oh Grace." He said, clamoring into the attic. "Hey, little one… I came back."

She tried to control the tears, but there was no stopping them, and she welcomed his arms around her when he reached her. She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "I'm sorry, Daddy." She sobbed into him, her hands gripping him tightly. "I'm sorry."

"Shh… don't you apologize to me. Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for." He whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "Shh…" he whispered. "Daddy isn't going anywhere. He's not going anywhere without his little girl."

He held her for several moments, feeling as her violent trembling began to subside. He felt guilty for leaving her alone, for fearing her feelings, for thinking that he couldn't reconnect with this little girl who was just looking for the one thing she loved more than anything and thought she had lost. He felt guilty for feeling sorry for himself, for doubting all of this time that he could be who he knew he was. He felt guilty for being afraid.

"Are you guys okay up there?" Temperance's voice broke through the moment, but not in the same way the ornament had broken through their previous moment. This was much more tender, and knowing. "Your hot cocoa is waiting." She said softly.

"We'll be right down, Bones." Booth called. The tenderness in his voice left little room for any argument, even if she wished to.

"Okay." She replied, leaving the room once again.

Booth held the little girl until her tears subsided, sniffling into her father's shirt. She turned in his arms and wiped her tears across her sleeve. She breathed deeply to catch her breath as her crying stopped. He rocked her tenderly and she sniffled. "Daddy?" She asked looking up into his eyes, he gave her a curious look and tipped his head. "Why do you call Mommy 'Bones'?" She asked.

"I call her that, because that's what I've always called her. Mommy works with bones, and that's why I call her that." He explained.

"You used to call me squeaker." She said, watching him with honest eyes.

"I did?"

"Yes." She nodded sincerely. "All the time."

"And you liked that name?"

A slow smile spread over her face, and her eyes moved from his as she struck a coy pose. "Yes."

Booth tipped his head and watched her keep her eyes from his for a moment, shrugging her shoulders, she let out a tiny giggle. "I bet I called you that ever since you were a tiny baby…" He whispered. She nodded her head and looked directly into his eyes.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it." She whispered.

"Never." He said, dropping a kiss on her nose. "Now let's get down for some hot cocoa before it gets cold." He whispered, gathering her into his arms. "I'll lift you down first, and then I'll get the Christmas boxes and meet you downstairs, okay?"

She nodded her head and reached her arms around his neck, holding on as he carried her to the ladder carefully. He took one step at a time, and carefully lifted her to the floor.

"Are you guys coming?" Temperance called from downstairs.

"Coming, Mama Bones!" Grace exclaimed, flashing her father a grin as she ran from the room.

Booth smiled and watched her disappear down the hallway, and with a resigned sigh and a bit of a smile, he climbed the ladder once again.


	18. Brighter Side

**December 21st-**

Booth came downstairs with one of the boxes of decorations and set it in the living room just as he reached the bottom of the stairs. On the couch, mother and daughter sat with their cocoa. Temperance smiled at her husband, happy that she could see a visible difference in his demeanor, and an obvious change in the way he carried himself. There was a confidence there that had been missing, a cockiness that was a part of his personality as a whole, and not part of his knowledge or memories.

He sat down beside his wife, and Grace looked over at him from her spot at the coffee table, kneeling over her 'hot' cocoa with a smile. "So you're going to help Daddy do some decorating before the older children get home?" Temperance asked.

"Uh huh." Grace nodded. "Right, Daddy?"

"That's right." Booth said, sipping from his hot cocoa, his eyes flicked to Temperance and he watched her watching him for a moment. "What?" He asked curiously.

"Nothing." She smiled. "You seem happy."

"I am happy right now," he replied. He glanced to Grace, who was sitting at their feet looking across the room at the big box of decorations at the foot of the stairs. "I'm trying not to worry."

Her hand reached out and clasped his, and his dark eyes met hers tenderly. "I'm not going to ask you what Ace said to you last night, but I may have to get him another Christmas gift." She smiled, tipping her head as Booth laughed.

* * *

><p>The afternoon swept by with what seemed like the blink of an eye. Booth and Grace decorated the house and kept their worries and concerns hidden behind laughter. The more comfortable Booth became with just being himself, the more that Grace slipped back into her usual bubbly demeanor. By the time that Temperance returned home with groceries, and Seeley, the bus had dropped Antonia and Parker for the official start of their Christmas vacation.<p>

The two older children barreled into the house as if the projects that they carried in their hands were propelling them, yet as they ran past the paper and backpacks fell to the floor as if weighing them down. Temperance stepped out of the kitchen just as Antonia reached the top of the stairs, her mother's voice stopping her immediately.

"Yes, Mommy?" she asked, the slow smile creeping across her lips indicated that she knew exactly why her mother had called her back.

"Can you please bring your bag to your room?"

"Can I do it later?"

"If she wanted you to do it later, she'd have asked you to do it later." Booth chimed from somewhere else downstairs.

"Daddy," Antonia huffed, walking down the steps as if weighted. "Parker left his bag down here too, you know."

Just as she said that, Parker came down the stairs behind her, passing her, he grabbed his bag and disappeared around the corner.

Temperance raised her eyebrows as Antonia continued down the steps heavily. She lifted her bag to her shoulder and looked to her mother. "Thank you," Temperance replied. "The Jeffersonian Christmas party is at seven, we will be leaving promptly at six thirty."

"You mean seven." Parker said, passing Temperance with a Christmas cookie in his hand, he ran up the stairs behind his sister and disappeared upstairs.

"Oh! I want a cookie!" Antonia said, taking a step down.

"No cookies, we're going to have a little something to eat, and then go to the party."

"But, Mommy!" Antonia complained.

"Get your dress ready, and you can have a cookie after dinner," Temperance reasoned. Antonia agreed, and ran up the stairs to her bedroom with her backpack.

* * *

><p>After a quick dinner, and some wrangling with dresses, hair brushing, ribbon tying, shoe finding, argument avoiding, and one case of a missing mouse, the family was out the door and into the car on their way to the Christmas party.<p>

They arrived at the entrance of the museum's employee entrance, and Booth agreed to park the car. Antonia and Parker climbed from their seats, and Seeley was unbelted from his booster seat as they gathered on the sidewalk. Grace insisted on coming in with Booth, so Temperance waved Booth off as she ushered the other children into the building.

Booth glanced back at the little girl, sitting in her seat watching his eyes in the rear view mirror as he pulled from the curb and made his way toward the parking garage. "It was very nice of you to insist on being my date to the Christmas party, Grace," he said with a smile.

Grace smiled at her father and kicked her feet playfully.

Booth drove the car to the parking garage and parked among the other employees that were gathering for the Christmas party. Booth hadn't been back to the Jeffersonian since the incident, so there was a sense of anticipation that rolled in his belly. He realized that he had been avoiding everything, and could feel the guilt sitting in his stomach like a boulder.

"You look scared, Daddy," Grace said. If the little girl was anything, she was perceptive, and Booth turned in his seat as he unbuckled the belt.

"Me, scared?" Booth said, brushing his hand in the air, he watched the crystal blue eyes staring back at him, boring into him. "Yeah, maybe a little nervous," he admitted.

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" she asked, reaching out the tiny palm to him, he couldn't deny its warmth and reached back to grasp it. "There's nothing to be scared of." She said, breathing a sigh. He could see that she was repeating something that had probably been said to her on multiple occasions. "There's no such thing as monsters, skeletons can't come alive and get you, and dinosaurs have been dead for a long, long time," she said, smiling slyly at him.

"You're a smart little kid," Booth said suspiciously. "How did you get to be so smart?"

"I think I watch too much TV," she nodded her head seriously.

Booth nodded his head too. "Yeah, that must be it, too much television. Are you ready to go inside?"

Grace nodded excitedly, and Booth climbed from his seat and closed his door. He reached over and opened her door, and unbuckled her from her seat, helping her to the ground. She grabbed his hand quickly. He could tell by the nervous look in her eyes that she was a bit anxious about the parking garage, so in one deft movement, he pulled her into his arms. The red and white dress she wore puffed out a little and he listened to her giggle. He turned and reached inside the car, pulling the little gray mouse from her car seat, handing it over to her.

"Oh! Squeaker," she giggled, hugging the mouse close to her. She curled into her daddy's shoulder, letting him hold her close. She felt safe against him for the first time in a very long time. Just that simple gesture put both of their minds at ease, and they made their way to the Christmas party together.


	19. Anger

**December 21st-**

Booth walked toward the reception hall in the museum, his little girl curled into his shoulder, when he heard someone calling him from behind. He turned to see Cam coming in his direction, and he smiled politely.

"Hey, big guy. It's about time, you showed up around here," she smiled. She was dressed up in a festive dress, her hair down and framing her face she tilted her head when she saw the little girl in his arms. "You look like you're very comfortable against your daddy."

Grace nodded her head and lifted her eyes to her father's. "Daddy is scared," she whispered. Booth lifted his eyebrows and she looked nervous. "Was that a secret?"

"Not where I'm standing, angel," Cam said with a wink. She touched the little girl's nose and walked past Booth, laughing at his protest.

"Oops," Grace smiled.

"Yeah." Booth said, nodding his head. "Oops."

"I love you, Daddy."

"I know you do, Squeaker," Booth said, walking into the room, he instantly spotted Bones. She smiled across the room at him, and he smiled back.

"Look, Daddy. JV is here!" Grace said excitedly, pointing at the curly haired boy across the room. JV waved his arms in the air and hopped up and down, and Booth could see that her feet were already carrying her to her friend before they even hit the floor. She ran across to JV, and the two of them moved off to play with some of the other children.

Booth started walking toward Temperance, and as he neared her, he was greeted by more and more people. They asked him how he was feeling, mentioned that they had missed seeing him around the museum. He recognized some of the people, and others seemed familiar, but he couldn't quite place their name, or who they were. He turned and expected to see Temperance, but was instead met by the warm brown eyes of his old partner, arms crossed over his chest.

"What are you doing here? You don't work for the Jeffersonian," Booth said. His voice was playful.

"I'm the official FBI liaison, that makes me important enough to be invited to the little parties around here." He said, lifting his eyebrows. "You're looking warmer this evening."

"Yes," Booth said. "In mood, and temperature both." He sighed and glanced to Temperance as she talked with someone he didn't recognize, and his eyes flickered to the children playing near one of the Christmas trees. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Ace said, nodding his head. "Well, I needed to get back onto Santa's nice list."

"I think you're referring to staying on Bones' nice list," Booth teased his friend. The two of them shared a laugh.

"It's good to see that you're feeling better," Rebecca said, stepping up behind Ace, she walked past him, and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. "We've been worried about you." She put her hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"I'm feeling better," Booth replied honestly.

"Well, I don't expect you to be keeping Christopher out to all hours of the evening on a regular basis," she teased, watching Booth roll his eyes. "I'm really glad you're feeling better." She hugged him once more and gave him a peck on the cheek, before making her way to talk to someone she recognized.

"I assume you told her what last night was all about," Booth said with a sigh.

"Nah," he shook his head. "Partner confidentiality," Ace replied, giving his friend a playful pat on the shoulder as he moved on to talk to someone else he recognized.

Booth stood for a moment, seemingly lost amid the throngs of people that he knew all knew him, but he couldn't quite place in his own mind. After a moment, he felt an arm snake it's way around his, and turned his head to see his wife smiling over at him. "You looked a little lost," she whispered.

"Thank you for rescuing me," he replied, capturing a quick kiss as they made their way across the room together.

The party was warm and inviting, and other people had brought their children to enjoy the Christmas celebration. There was food, dancing, desserts, and gifts, and everything seemed to be going well, until there was a sudden disruption among the group of children that had been playing well together.

A high pitched scream nearly launched Booth from his seat at a table talking to Angela and Hodgins, and without a word, he darted to the corner.

There was a flurry of red dresses and shouts from the children, and it had appeared that a melee had begun over something, and his daughters were in the middle of it all.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Antonia was screaming, holding her sister's hair in her hand as she pulled it. Grace was screaming in pain and swinging her fists as she tried to pull from her sister, and JV was on Antonia's back trying to pull her off.

"Let go! Let go, you big monkey!" JV screamed.

"Antonia Elyse!" Booth exclaimed, watching the older girl drop her sister immediately and JV's mouth dropped open as he literally jumped from the older girl's back, landing on his bottom.

"I told them to stop, Dad." Parker said, holding Seeley behind him as other children, and adults watched on, wondering what Booth's next move was going to be.

"You!" He said, pointing at his older daughter. "Go over to that chair right there and sit down, right now!" He gathered Grace in his arms and felt her body trembling in as she sobbed. Her head was buried in his neck, and he could feel himself trembling as well.

"Daddy! You didn't hear what she said! You didn't…"

"Now!" he growled.

Antonia's eyes were wide. She hadn't seen that fire in her father's eyes in a very long time, and it frightened her to see it now. She turned and ran for the chair, sitting down immediately, she began to cry.

Booth took a step back with Grace, and the partygoers let everything slip back to normal as he watched Antonia for a moment, trying to decide what to do. As if on cue, Temperance was behind him. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Booth answered. His breathing was slightly labored, and his eyes darted to Seeley, who was now playing quietly with another little boy, and Parker, who was talking to one of Temperance's interns. "I have absolutely no idea." His eyes were on Antonia, her face in her hands while she cried.

"Go to her." Temperance said softly, holding her arms out for Grace. "It's alright, I can handle this one."

"You're sure?" he asked.

She beckoned for the little girl, nodding her head, and Booth slowly extricated her tiny fingers from his neck and handed her over to her mother. Grace then turned and grabbed her mother tightly, and Booth headed over to his daughter's side.

He sat down beside his daughter, and she sank further into her hands. He felt helpless, and could feel her shutting him out with each passing second. "Toni, please look at daddy."

"No." She whimpered into her hands. "No, you don't care."

"What do you mean I don't care? I love you very much. Please, talk to me."

Antonia stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "If you loved me, you wouldn't tell Grace that I was wrong."

"What?" Booth asked.

"She said that you called me a liar," Antonia growled. "I am not a liar. You're the liar. You tell her that you're daddy, and you're not. You're not daddy, you're Deuce." She growled.

"Alright." Booth said suddenly, he stood up and the little girl's jaw dropped at his sudden movement. "You're coming with me, and we're going to have a little talk about this." Booth said, grabbing her hand.

"No." She shook her head, struggling slightly against his grip, he stopped, and moved to her level, and her struggling stopped.

"You're going to walk out of this room with me without making a scene, do you understand?" he asked in a low, growling voice. She had fear in her eyes, and he could see that immediately. "Do you trust me?"

"Are you going to yell at me?"

"We're going to talk." Booth said, lifting an eyebrow. "Alright?"

He waited a moment, and she swallowed hard, nodding her head slightly, she let out a heavy breath.

Booth then stood up, grabbed her hand, and the two of them walked from the room together.


	20. Antonia

**December 21st-**

Booth pulled his daughter with him through the groups of people standing around having a good time, and he kept his focus on nothing but the door out of the room. He could feel his face warming quickly, and his patience dwindling quickly. He pushed the bar on the door and slammed their way into the hallway. Once they were away from everyone else, he felt like he could breathe again.

His legs carried him down the quiet hallway, and away from the party and the music. "Daddy, where are you taking me? Where are we going?"

"We need someplace quiet to talk," Booth replied with short, enunciated words that contained a lot of pent up anger and anxiety. He tugged her down the hallway and around the corner, stopping at one of the security doors, he pushed his thumb against the recognition switch, and punched in a code. The doors slid open and he and Antonia stepped through.

"I'm sorry," Antonia exclaimed suddenly. "Daddy, please! I'm sorry!"

Booth continued to walk. The museum was dim, but for the security lighting, and he wasn't even sure where he was headed. The sound of the music at the party had faded, and he found himself standing in the natural history portion of the museum. He released his daughter's hand and stopped, staring up at the towering Tyrannosaurus display.

"Daddy?" Antonia whispered.

Booth just stared up at the skeleton for a moment, listening to his daughter's pleading voice. He wasn't sure where to start, or even what to say to her. Everything just seemed to be coming at him at an ever increasing pace, and as soon as he put out one fire, another one seemed to be igniting beneath his feet. He wanted to scold her, to shout. He wanted to yell at her, but knew in his heart that she didn't deserve his frustration.

He turned and looked down at his daughter, and he could see the pleading in her eyes. She didn't understand what he was going through. She didn't know what was going through his mind. He sighed and stepped toward a bench, sitting down solidly, he looked up at the dinosaur skeleton and waited.

Antonia walked toward her father, climbing onto the bench beside him, she kept quiet. Her eyes were on his, and she knew that he wasn't ignoring her, he was simply thinking. So patiently she waited until his brown eyes met hers.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"What are you sorry for?" Booth asked.

"I'm sorry that I hurt Grace," she said, furrowing her brow. "I wasn't nice."

"You shouldn't be apologizing to me for hurting Grace," Booth replied. "You should be apologizing to Grace."

"Then why am I here?" she asked.

"Because I want to know why you hurt Grace. I want to know why you told her that I'm not her daddy. I want to know why you think, that you have the right to tell her these things, these lies."

"Because you're not Daddy right now. You're not who you used to be, you…"

"Don't you dare tell me who I am," Booth said, watching the little girl's eyes widen. He poked his chest with his finger, and he shook his head. "I know who I am, and it isn't up to you or anyone else to think or tell someone else otherwise," he snapped. "What did I tell you about Deuce, Antonia? What did I say happened to him?"

"I don't know," Antonia said, looking down at her lap. She hated when Booth shouted at her, and she could see that she had no way of getting around this.

"Talk to me," Booth demanded. "Why would you tell a little girl that her daddy doesn't know who she is, Toni? Why would you do that? What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Deuce could help her!" Antonia shouted suddenly, jumping from her seat. This made Booth jump back a little, and his eyes widen. She was surprised by her own voice, and it may actually have frightened her for a moment. "Deuce was who you were when I was confused and sad, when mommy was sad. Deuce is who you were when you weren't my Daddy… I thought maybe it would help Gracie, Daddy." She said sincerely. "I just thought that… maybe if she could think of you as someone else, she would love you again." Antonia said desperately.

Booth watched his daughter's eyes and could see the fear in them. Her lip trembled. "This isn't your responsibility to fix, Toni."

"I'm her big sister," she swallowed. "I'm supposed to help."

"You can help by listening to her, Toni. You can help by talking to her."

"She won't talk to me, Daddy." Antonia said stubbornly. "I tried, but she won't. I told her about Deuce because he helped me. I thought he could help her. She said that you told her that I was wrong. You told her that Deuce is nobody, but he's somebody to me, Daddy. Deuce is important to me."

"I was Deuce, Toni." Booth said desperately. "It's just another nickname for me. It was me that was there for you, but I am your daddy now. I wasn't your imaginary friend. I was real, I am real. You can't expect your little sister to understand that. When you were a little girl, I had to be Deuce first, and then be your daddy… but it can't happen the other way around."

"Why not?"

"Because being your daddy is the one thing that I could not be when I was Deuce. If I went back to being Deuce… that makes me less important. It makes me alone, lonely. If I'm Deuce, then I don't get to be with your mommy. I don't get to be your daddy. I lost everything when I was Deuce, Toni." Booth said, crouching down. He had her shoulders lightly in his hands, and he was staring right into her eyes. "Do you understand?"

"But I can't forget."

"It's not something that you have to forget. I loved being your friend, baby girl. But I love being your daddy much, much more."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She could see that her father was still hurting, but neither of them knew what to say. After a moment, they were interrupted by the sound of shoes clacking across the tile floor, and both turned to see Temperance walking around the corner.

"Hey." Booth said, standing up, he took his daughter's hand and Temperance jumped at the sound of his voice.

"There you are," she said. Her brow was furrowed as she approached him. "How did you guys get down here?"

"Security code," Booth replied.

"What security code?"

"On the…door. I just put my thumbprint on it, and put in the number," Booth said, watching the look on her face turn to amusement. "What is it, Bones?"

"Do you remember the number that you put in?"

Booth rattled off the number, and watched her eyes light up. "What is it, Bones?"

Her smile was bright now, and she looked to Antonia. "Nothing, Booth," she said softly. "But when you figure it out, you let me know," she said, watching his eyebrow quirk up curiously. "Did you two talk things through?"

"Yes," Booth nodded.

"Well, Santa is going to be here in a couple of minutes, so if we're done here…"

"But Mommy, Santa Claus is…"

"Is someone your sister is looking forward to seeing," Booth said, bumping his daughter lightly, she looked up at her father and smiled.

"Alright, let's get back to the party," Temperance said taking their daughter's hand. The three of them walked toward the security door.

"Bones?" Booth asked, watching her turn her head as she reached the door. "Are you going to tell me what it means?"

"You'll figure it out," she said, leaning back to drop a kiss on his cheek. "I know you'll figure it out."

With that, the door opened and the three of them walked through, though one of them much more thoughtful than the other two.


	21. Number Logic

**December 21st-**

Santa visited, and the party wound down, and by the time the festivities were over, two out of four Booth children were sleeping, and one was very quickly on her way. With Grace being carried by her father, and Seeley sleeping against Temperance, Antonia was forced to shuffle her way to the car sleepily alongside Parker.

They walked to the garage together, and Booth and Temperance fastened each of the children into their seats securely. Their eyes met several times in the process, and each could tell that the day had worn on the other, but the warmth never faded.

They drove home with the radio softly playing Christmas songs, and the Christmas lights that sparkled on the homes in the city were bright. By the time they arrived at the house, the three youngest were sleeping, and Parker was fading. "I'll get Grace," Parker said, reaching over his half sister, he pulled the seatbelt from her and lifted her from the seat and out of the car.

Booth lifted Antonia from her seat, and Temperance lifted Seeley, and the three of them trudged sleepily toward the house. Booth unlocked the door and turned off the security system, and they walked up the steps with the children quietly. It was a nice silence, a warm silence, and it felt natural and normal for them. There was no pressure or fear in his steps, and when he reached Antonia's room, he carefully put her on the bed.

She rolled and looked up at him, her eyes were dark and sleepy. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, baby girl. I'm glad that we talked tonight."

A sleepy smile rose on her lips. "Me too," she whispered, closing her eyes, the smile still on her lips.

He watched her for another moment and turned toward the door, noting that Temperance was stepping inside. She reached for his hand, and he grasped hers tightly. "Gracie is waiting for you." She said, squeezing his hand.

He pulled her toward him and kissed her lightly on the lips, nodding his acknowledgement as he slipped from the room quietly. On his way down the hallway, he checked in on Seeley. The little boy was already curled up in his bed sleeping, and Parker whispered his goodnight from his own bed. Booth then walked down to Grace's room, quietly opening the door, he expected to find her sleeping already, but instead she was sitting up in her bed, her blanket pulled up onto her lap, and a book sitting on her legs.

"What's this?" He asked, his voice was low and telling, and she simply smiled and held up the book. "Fluffy bunny?" He asked. She nodded her head and patted the spot next to her, and he smiled as she pulled the blanket to her chin and smiled. "Are you sure?" He asked.

"Practice makes perfect," she replied, watching the book lift from the bed, she moved over just a little more to make room for Booth to sit beside her.

* * *

><p>Once Grace was peacefully asleep in her bed, Booth managed to slip out of the room without rousing her. He left the door open just a crack and slowly stepped down the hallway. He reached the halfway point, and stopped, feeling a sudden sense of confusion. Everything had felt so natural and normal up until this moment, standing alone in the hallway unsure of where to go.<p>

He didn't hear her footsteps on the stairs, but felt her hand on his shoulder. He didn't jump, only turned his head in her direction and watched as Temperance all but danced around him. Her hand remained on his arm and she gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Are you coming to bed with me?" she whispered.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, playfully.

Her answer was a quick kiss on his lips, and a soft groan when he snaked his arm around her and pulled her into him.

"Good, because that's what I want," he whispered. "I'm glad we had this discussion." And with a quick movement, he pulled her into his arms with a gasp. "I love you."

"I've heard that." She whispered, leaning her head on his chest.

"And now I'm going to prove it to you." He said, catching her eyes with his, she let out a playful laugh, as he turned and pushed the door to their bedroom open with his backside, and lightly closed it with his foot.

* * *

><p><em><strong>December 22nd-<strong>_

When morning made its appearance, Temperance rolled over to find that she was alone in the bed again. She wondered for a moment if the last twenty four hours had been a dream, though her muscles ached in such a way to debunk that theory. She sat up slightly when she heard the water running in the shower, and her eyes moved toward the clock. It was eight o'clock, and the house was silent. Her eyes closed and she rolled over onto his pillow for a moment, indulging in his scent as she listened to the water turn off.

Booth stepped from the bathroom, towel wrapped tightly around his hips as he watched Temperance for a moment. She looked peaceful and beautiful, her exposed skin glowing against the light blue sheets and blanket. She was breathing softly, her body rising and falling with each breath, and when she turned her head to look up at him, she seemed almost embarrassed. His smile was tender, and his gait showed that he too was a bit bashful, and it only succeeded in making her smile just a little more. "Where are you going so early?" She asked, reaching her hand for his, he sat beside her and grasped it tightly.

"I have plans." He replied, leaning forward to kiss her tenderly.

"Plans? Why am I not aware of these plans?"

"Because you're not invited." He lifted an eyebrow.

"Is this what you and Ace were talking about at the party last night, when you disappeared?"

"Maybe." He said, kissing her again, and started to stand up. He grabbed his towel and tugged it out of her hand before she could pull it off, whipping around. "I knew you were going to do that." He said, watching her grin brightly.

"Just like you remembered the security code." She said with a laugh.

"I still don't know the significance." He said, watching her stand up, wrapping herself with her robe, she moved toward the bathroom.

"Think about it logically, Booth." She said, stepping backwards into the bathroom, she watched him furrow his brow as she smiled slyly at him.

"It's not our anniversary."

"That would be too easy to guess, and the numbers are clearly not a date." She said, closing the bathroom door, she heard him moving toward the door, and locked it. She felt him jiggle the handle.

"Hey…" he said, jiggling it one more time. "What does the number mean?"

"Four, seven, two, two, four, three." She said through the door. "I love you." She said, stepping to the shower, she could hear him repeating the number aloud to himself.


	22. Pie vs Cookies

**December 22nd-**

By the time Temperance was out of the shower, she could hear the movement of the children around the house and wondered where Booth was. She dressed and stepped out of the bedroom, and everything seemed a little quieter. She heard the television on downstairs, and made her way quietly down the steps. When she looked around the corner, she saw Grace and Antonia, each sitting with a small tray and a bowl of cereal, laughing at cartoons.

"Hey," she said, grabbing the attention of the two little girls. "Where is your daddy?"

Grace shrugged, and Antonia glanced to the door and back to her mother. "I don't know."

Temperance furrowed her brow and walked toward the door, peering out through the sidelight windows. "Did he leave? The car is still here."

Grace nodded.

"Ace came and got him."

"Parker and little boy went too." Grace said, shoving a big spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

Temperance stepped down into the living room and glanced to the girls, and then to the door again. "So he just left us all alone, huh? Just us girls?"

"Guess so." Antonia shrugged.

"Get a bowl of cereal mommy. It's yummy!" Grace grinned.

Temperance smiled at her daughter's excitement. "That sounds like a fantastic idea. We'll have cereal first, and then us girls will have our own secret adventure. What do you say about that?"

Her suggestion was met with happy cheers, and she smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Booth sat in the passenger seat as Ace drove down the road, making their way out of the city limits. "You know that there are perfectly fine Christmas trees right here in D.C., right?" Ace asked. "It's really not necessary to drive out into the middle of no man's land to cut your own."<p>

Booth gave his friend an incredulous glare. "You just don't want to admit that you're happy that I pulled you away from Rebecca's ultimate plan of making you Christmas shopping with her today."

Ace paused. "Damn straight," he nodded, reaching his fist to his friend for a bump. "We spend hours in the same store, and she always ends up saying she just doesn't know what to get."

"And then she ends up getting gift cards," Parker chimed in from the back seat. The three of them laughed.

Booth looked in the side view mirror and caught a glimpse of Seeley staring thoughtfully out of the window. His heart panged for a moment for the little boy. Booth hadn't known him well before all of this had happened, so he seemed to connect more with Seeley than anyone else. He knew that the little boy missed his daddy, and though he never spoke the words, he was thankful to be part of a loving family. "Hey little boy," Booth said, using the moniker that Grace still insisted on using. Booth felt funny calling someone by his own name, though when Seeley looked in his direction, he immediately felt his stomach drop.

There was a tear rolling down the little boy's face, and he sniffled silently as he looked out the window again. "Seeley? Are you okay, pal?" Booth asked. He turned in his seat a little, so he could see the boy directly, and he watched his head shake slowly.

"I want my mommy," he whimpered. He sniffled again, and more tears fell.

Booth turned his head, and Ace nodded. "We're just about there." He said in a low voice. Booth turned his head to look toward the boy again.

"Hey, buddy," Booth said, glancing to Parker.

Parker reached his hand out and gave the boy a gentle pat on his hand, and Seeley pulled away, putting his hands over his eyes as he began to sob. Parker looked up at Booth, and Ace quickly pulled the car into a parking lot of a gas station. "This looks like a good place to gas up."

The car stopped, and Ace climbed out. Parker mumbled something about getting something in the store, and left Booth and Seeley in the car.

"Hey, hey… buddy…" Booth said, turning in his seat, he faced the little boy, awkwardly. "Hey."

"I just want my mommy! I just want my mommy to come back! Why can't she come back?" He sobbed.

Booth didn't know what to do. He had no answers for the little boy, and there wasn't a solution to the problem he was faced with. He was scared and sad. It was a new place with new people, and though Booth and Brennan did all they could to comfort him, they were still not the people that he wanted, the people that he needed. They weren't his parents.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Booth asked, watching the little boy cry. "It's a really good one," he enticed. "Hey, pal…"

Seeley sniffled and looked up at Booth. He had turned in his seat and was kneeling to face him, awkwardly avoiding hitting his head. Seeley swiped his nose with his sleeve and sniffled. He looked up at his uncle with inquiring eyes. "What?" he whimpered.

"I miss my mommy too," he whispered.

Seeley rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand, and furrowed his brow.

"When I was a little boy, my mom used to make the best Christmas pies ever," Booth said with a tender tone in his voice. "I can't remember the last time I tasted a pie that was as good as my mom's."

"My Mommy made cookies," Seeley whimpered.

"What kind of cookies?"

"They were whiteish… and they had yummy cinnamon sprinkled on them. I don't know what they were called though," he shrugged, rubbing his eye.

"Hm…" Booth said. "I wonder if we can find a bakery that has those same kind of cookies."

Seeley's eyes widened. "But they won't be mommy's."

"No." Booth shook his head. "They won't be… but you know, every time you eat one… you'll think of your mommy and remember her. You'll never forget her, buddy. She'll always be with you up here," he said, tapping his head, he reached his hand back and gently touched Seeley's chest. "And she'll always be right here in your heart."

"I miss daddy too," Seeley sniffled. "When is he coming home?"

"I think all of that stuff is getting worked out, pal. I know that he misses you so much." Booth didn't want to reveal to the boy the surprise that he and Temperance were trying to arrange. He didn't want to set the boy's hopes up too high, though if they had their way, father and son would be reunited very soon. "He can't wait to see you and give you a big hug."

The car door opened, and Parker climbed in holding a tray with coffee for Booth and Ace, and hot chocolate for himself. He handed a bottle of chocolate milk to Seeley. "You like chocolate milk, right?" Parker asked.

Seeley glanced to Booth and nodded.

"Cool." Parker said, handing Booth his cup of coffee, just as Ace climbed back into the car.

"So, did I miss anything?" He asked, taking the coffee cup from Parker with a smile.

"Nope." Booth shrugged, winking at Seeley. "We're just going to make sure we stop for some cookies on the way home."

"Cookies?" Ace asked glancing back with faux suspicion to the little boy.

"Uh huh!" Seeley nodded, now grinning as Parker opened the little boy's chocolate milk and handed it back to him.

"Good, I love cookies." Ace said, glancing to the little boy with a smile. "So much better than pie." He said, starting the car.

"We are not going to get into this argument again." Booth said.

"Looks like we are." Ace laughed, winking at Seeley in the rearview mirror as the boy laughed, and they were once again on their way.


	23. Big Trouble

**December 22nd-**

The drive to the tree farm didn't take much longer, and all of the tears from earlier seemed to have disappeared for the time being. The four of them trudged through the aisles of 'cut your own' trees, in search of the perfect Christmas tree.

"What about this one?" Ace asked, pointing to a spruce that was just a little shorter than he was. The biting cold was getting to him, and he could see that the two boys were quickly becoming bored.

"Too small."

"You're too small." Ace muttered.

"Excuse me?" Booth asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Hey, how about this one?" Ace asked, turning toward the same tree he had been looking at a moment before. Booth glared. "Didn't think you'd notice." He grinned playfully.

"Dad, what about that one?" Parker asked, pointing to a tree down the line. It was larger than the one that Ace had seen, and was equally proportioned on all sides. The four of them moved toward the tree that Parker had chosen, and Booth looked it up and down.

"I think we found a winner, Parker."

"No. I found a winner, Dad." Parker smiled slyly.

"Yeah, yeah…" Booth teased. "Now let's get this sucker on top of the car and get it home."

* * *

><p>The door swung open, and the tree was the first thing that pushed its way through the door. "This tree is a lot bigger than it seemed on the lot." Booth breathed hard as all four of them pushed at the spruce to dislodge it from the doorway.<p>

"You have issues with perception of size, don't you?" Ace teased, feeling the weight of the tree suddenly as he looked back to see Booth had let go. "Hey!"

"Dad!" Parker exclaimed, ducking from the branch that was poking him in the face. Booth then picked up the slack and helped push the tree through the doorway and into the house. Once it was inside, they propped it up on its end and the two youngest moved away as Ace held up the tree.

"Just hold it right there, and I'll be right back." Booth said, walking toward the hallway. "Got it?"

"Yeah." Ace said, watching Booth.

"Good… hold it steady, I'm going to make lunch."

"Deuce!" Ace growled.

"Kidding, I'm kidding. Let me get the stand." He said, smiling at his friend, he laughed and found the tree stand. With the help of the two kids and Ace, it was standing on its own, and the four of them were sitting back on the couch, admiring their handiwork.

"Dad?" Parker said, glancing to his father.

"Yeah?"

"Bones is going to kill us."

"Why do you say that?" Ace asked, leaning forward, he grabbed Seeley and listened to the boy giggle and laugh as he pulled him into his lap.

"Aren't your hands sticky too?" He asked, holding up his dirty hands, spotted with sap from the tree they had been handling.

"Sap." Booth said, noticing the dark sticky marks on his hands, and on his pants. "Bones doesn't have to know." He said, standing up, he noticed that the front door was opening.

"Oh no!" Seeley exclaimed, pushing himself from Ace's lap. He wasn't nervous, but giggling as Ace held him tightly.

"Hurry!" Booth exclaimed, waving to the other three, they all made a beeline into the kitchen.

As Temperance opened the door for the two girls, she immediately saw the tree standing awkwardly in the living room in its stand. She heard the sound of feet pounding and laughing, as the kitchen door closed behind the herd of boys that had exited the room quickly.

"Oh. My. Goodness." Grace said, looking around the room, she could see the pine needles littering the floor.

"Daddy! You're in big trouble!" Antonia exclaimed, glancing to her mother. Temperance kept a straight face as she surveyed the mess, the tree standing askew, and the sound of running water coming from the kitchen. She looked to her daughters and narrowed her eyes. She winked at them, and they giggled, as she kicked off her shoes and stomped down the hallway. The sound of pattering feet behind her almost made her give away the smile she was hiding.

Her hand hit the swinging door, and she allowed it to fly open quickly, her eyes set on her husband, though her glare raked over Ace, and Parker as well.

All four boys turned and faced her, and the two little girls beside their mother crossed their arms over their chest.

"Uh oh." Seeley whispered, swallowing hard at the hardened look on Temperance's face.

Booth and Temperance held a steady gaze, and he tried to remain stoic against her steely stare. He could see the corner of her mouth twitching just slightly, and her eyes narrowed just a bit.

"We're going to clean up the mess, Bones." Parker said quickly.

Temperance still hadn't taken her eyes off her husband, and the water in the sink continued to go down the drain, washing nothing at this point.

"Are you going to continue wasting water?" She asked, tipping her head. The girls shook their head and let out an exasperated sigh. Booth finally dropped eye contact and turned toward the sink. Everything seemed to be at a standstill, when suddenly Booth turned, sprayer in hand.

"You could always help us clean up," he said mockingly.

She saw what he was doing before he even did it, and even then she wasn't prepared for the assault from the sprayer. The girls let out a giggling screech, and Parker and Seeley scattered, as Temperance was hit by the water directly in the face. Not wasting a second, she lunged for her husband.

"Now you're going to get it!" She exclaimed, grabbing for the sprayer, water was going everywhere. Ace had moved out of the line of fire, and laughed as Temperance and Booth fought for control of the sprayer. All of the children were laughing as Temperance grabbed the sprayer and aimed it at Booth's face, sending warm water spraying into his eyes.

"Alright! Alright!" He gargled and laughed, and she released the button on the sprayer, his eyes opening up just in time to see a barrage of water come flying at him again. He sputtered and laughed, reaching behind her, he turned off the faucet and her weapon was now useless. She was in his arms and coughing a little, as they turned to the rest of the laughing family.

"Daddy, you made a mess!" Grace laughed, her giggle almost uncontrollable.

He grabbed a towel from beside the sink and set it on Temperance's head, moving quickly toward the little girl, she let out a squealing laugh as she ran from the room, her daddy on her heels.

"Booth! You're getting water all over the…" Temperance trailed off as she wiped the water from her face and listened to her daughter and husband laugh in the next room. Her eyes fixed on Ace as he glanced to his partner. He smiled at her and she shook her head. She walked toward him and threw the wet towel at him, making him laugh.

She was about to go into the next room when her phone rang, stopping her immediately. She glanced to Ace and pulled her phone from her pocket, lifting it to her ear. "Brennan?"

Ace had no idea who was on the line, but could see by the clench of Temperance's jaw that she wasn't happy. Her eyes blazed fire in his direction and she pushed her palm into her eye to wipe the water, or tear from it. "You can tell him that I will be there in an hour, and he may want to have an additional guard in the room." She paused. "Not for my protection. For his." She said, stabbing at the 'end' button with her finger, she set her gaze on her partner. "I need to change. I have to get down to the prison." She then turned on her heel, and stomped from the room, without a glance or explanation.


	24. Jared

**December 22nd-**

The drive to the prison was silent, and cold. Temperance knew that her approach to this needed to be succinct and driven, or her quest would be fruitless. When she had told her husband of her conversation with Caroline, his demeanor had immediately turned to anger and confusion. She understood that Booth still couldn't grasp the reality of his brother having a son, but had embraced the idea of having him in his life without a second thought. He asked no questions, and didn't need an explanation for her ire. He stood beside her, and supported her strength and will, intending on being with her every step of the way.

Temperance's focus was on the road, but she could feel Booth's eyes on her now and again. She was aware that she was carrying the memories of what had gotten Jared put away. She was the one that knew the back story. She was the one carrying the weight. However, it didn't feel as heavy as it had in the past. She knew that Booth was ready to ease her burden. He was ready to stand behind her once again.

The past month had been a hellish reminder of what it was like to not have Booth in her life. Those years had been lonely, filled with tears and regret. She had gone to bed alone then, and until just two days earlier, had experienced the cold sheets and blankets without her husband's loving embrace again. She shivered at the thought of that feeling of abandonment, turning her eyes for a moment toward Booth. He had seen her shiver, and that look of longing in her eyes, and she could see the sorrow in his.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. He wasn't exactly sure of what he was apologizing for, but the words felt as if they fit in that moment. Her hand stretched over the partition between the seats, and he quickly grabbed hold of it. He closed his eyes tightly and thought of the reason for their visit to the prison. He envisioned the little boy's eyes staring at him, his face filled with a sorrow that was different from that morning. It was a dark and broken fear that was in his eyes, and words that floated in his mind seemed disjointed in his thoughts. His mind wandered to a worn piece of paper, the scrawl across it messy and almost indistinguishable. "Bones?" Booth interrupted his thoughts, and looked into her imploring eyes. "Jared didn't know that I was alive."

"No." She said, glancing to the road, she watched him think for a moment. "No, he was off the grid for years, Booth. Remember? I told you this before. He was married, and his…"

"Wife died a year ago." He nodded.

"Are you remembering this, or are you just remembering our conversation?"

He pulled his hand from hers slowly and rubbed his forehead with his fingers, frustrated with his own mind. "I don't know." He said, shaking his head. "Everything is just… it's so jumbled in my mind. I'm not sure where my memories leave off, and our conversations started."

"You'll get it." She said, rubbing his shoulder as she pulled up to the gate at the prison entrance. "Just let me handle Jared, and we'll get back home and finish our Christmas decorating."

"Right, if Ace doesn't end up locked in the bathroom while the kids take over the house."

"That's only occurred once." Temperance said, with a sideways glance, "And I'm fairly certain that he locked himself in the bathroom. " She smiled, reveling in their brief moment of levity before reality started to seep back into their heavily guarded hearts.

* * *

><p><p>

They were allowed a meeting face to face. Jared wasn't considered a violent prisoner, and as long as they were supervised, he wasn't required to be in handcuffs in the visitation room. Booth and Temperance sat side by side, united in their frustration at Jared, and in their purpose for the meeting.

Jared was led into the room by a guard, and he rolled his eyes as he tried to turn toward the guard, whispering to him that he didn't want visitors. He could see the anger in Temperance's eyes, and he had felt her anger in the past. He wasn't in a fighting mood. However, this wasn't his choice.

"I don't want to talk to her." Jared said, trying to turn around.

"You don't get a say in it." The guard said with a deep, throaty growl. "Now sit down and be nice to your guests."

Begrudgingly, he sat down, watching his brother sit back in his chair as Temperance moved forward, putting her arms on the table as she leaned toward him. "What is your problem, Jared?" She asked in a short, angry burst. She wasn't shouting yet, but it was just below the surface.

"Tempe, I'm not in the mood. Did my lawyer call you? I told her not to call you until later, until tonight."

"Until after you've already signed away your parental rights to your son?" Temperance argued. "After you've finally gotten rid of him from your life? What is wrong with you, Jared? What kind of father just abandons his son?" She asked angrily.

Jared's eyes snapped to his brother, and held for a moment. Booth dared him silently to say what was on the tip of his tongue. His eyes narrowed in a scorn filled stare until Jared felt the pinching pain of his gritted teeth, his tongue shoved to the back of his throat. He nearly gagged himself to keep the words from spewing from his lips. "He doesn't need me." Jared managed to say. He let out a long breath, as if those were the words he had been struggling to say, and his eyes darted back to Temperance. He thought that she was the lesser of the two scornful stares, but he was sadly mistaken.

"Of course he needs you." Temperance argued. "You're his father."

"And a fat lot of good I'm doing him rotting here in this hell hole." Jared snapped.

"At least he knows where you are." Booth said casually.

"Shut up." Jared said to his brother. He didn't have the gall to say what he wanted to say, so he resorted to his comfort zone, the juvenile route. "Just shut up, okay, Seeley?"

"I'm not going to shut up." Booth said, keeping his reclined position in his chair. "Because I don't think you understand the weight of this, Jared."

"You don't think I know the weight of this? You don't think that I understand what I'm doing here? I know what I'm doing, and it's killing me, Seeley. He's all that I had, Seeley. He's all that is left of my wife, he's all that is left of anything good that I've done."

"So you're just going to abandon him, like you abandon everything else." Booth nodded. "I can't say that I'm surprised, Jared. It doesn't surprise me at all."

Temperance wanted to stop Booth, and she could see that his words were just his method to rile his brother up. He was trying to get him fired up, to admit the truth and stop pretending he was doing the noble thing. She let him have the floor, because she knew if anyone could boil Jared's blood, it was his brother. "I left him with you, because I trust that you'll take care of him." Jared said, trying to focus on Temperance. She leaned back in her seat, and Booth now leaned forward. "I trust you, Tempe."

"You trust her, and you don't think she'll mind the added stress of raising a child? The added expense? The added emotional toll, because you're leaving a boy who had been abandoned by both of his parents as if he wasn't worth the trouble? You trust her, because you think she can relate to him? Is that it, Jared? You think that because Bones had to go through this as a kid, that she can be his buddy, his pal?"

"I trust her because she has the means!" Jared shouted, glancing to the guard.

Booth waved the guard off, and he nodded and stood back, watching the back and forth between his prisoner and his family. "It's about money." Booth nodded. "I get it."

"No." Jared shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant."

"I'd like to know what you did mean." Temperance said, lifting her eyebrows, she watched Jared flinch.

"I mean… I mean…"

"Jared." Booth said, leaning across, he tried to get his brother's attention. "Jared, you can't do this. I know that you can't do this."

"You don't know anything." Jared said, looking to his brother. "You can't even remember your own kid." He said scornfully.

Booth ignored his brother's emotional jab, continuing his earlier thought. "You can't do this, because you know what it's like to be abandoned, Jared."

"Just shut up, Seeley." Jared said, gritting his teeth angrily.

"You and I… we had each other. We had Pops. And yeah, we wouldn't have been better off if Dad had stuck around, but you know that you're not Dad."

"I'm a screw up like he was." Jared said, trying desperately not to cry. He kept his eyes on his brother, knowing that if he saw the sympathy in Temperance's eyes, he'd completely break down.

"Yeah, you screwed up, but you're a good Dad, Jared. You have good intentions. You love Seeley. You don't hurt him physically, you don't hurt him emotionally. You loved his mother. You love him. You want him to grow up right. You want him to become a good man."

"Just shut up." Jared said between his teeth, still trying not to cry.

"You remember the day he was born, Jared. The panic, the joy, the petrified anxiety all rolled into one… the way you felt when you first saw him. You remember that moment, Jared. When he was born… when you held him in your hands, the way he cried that soft…squeaking cry." Booth paused. "The… way he… the way…"

"Booth, are you okay?" Temperance asked, feeling the tension drain from him as he shifted in his chair. His hands were trembling as he held them close together, cradling an invisible newborn in his hands as if it were real, as if he was seeing something that the other two couldn't see. "Booth?"

"I… have to check on something." Booth said suddenly, glancing to the guard. "Are you okay in here?" He asked Temperance.

"Yes, but I don't understand. What's wrong?" She asked, feeling a flutter in her stomach that could have been fear, or excitement. She was far too wound up to figure it out.

"Nothing. I just… I have to check on something." He said, leaning over to kiss her cheek softly, he carefully stood up and walked toward the door, opening it at the sound of the buzzer.

Temperance and Jared were left as the door closed behind him, the hollow metal sound of the door closing seemed to hang in the air for a moment, dissipating to nothing as it dared each of the two remaining people to break its silence.


	25. Your People Are My People

**December 22nd-**

Booth was pacing the floor in the lobby, and his head was bobbing slightly as he nodded with each passing thought. He felt as if his mind was suddenly a rolodex that someone had kicked to the floor. Each card was a memory, and they were scattered carelessly and randomly. When he had been told that his memory had been wiped, and that it could come back spontaneously, he imagined it rolling through his mind like an old film, or rushing at him with a violent smash. What he didn't expect was for it to just simply be there. Talking to Jared had lifted some invisible cloak on his past, and jumbled everything together into an unreadable pile.

He found himself frustrated that the order of his mind had been disturbed, and Temperance's voice played in his head again and again telling him to focus, and that if he'd focus, he'd remember. He pulled his phone out and stared at the screen, the numbers that he had remembered for his security code were running through his mind again and again. He punched the numbers into the phone and stared at them. He heard the door to the visitation room open and close, but the sound didn't register with him. He paced and mumbled to himself, not thinking for a moment that he looked like a mental patient standing there, talking to himself. He stopped, staring at the numbers when something occurred to him, stopping his frantic pacing.

"What is it?" Temperance's voice broke through his thoughts and he looked up to her worried eyes. The smile that spread on his face must have made him look like a maniac, but he didn't care for a moment.

"Gracie." He said softly. "The numbers."

"Booth, you're not making any sense." She said, keeping her eyes with him as he stopped.

"The numbers." He stared into her eyes. There was the hint of a smile on his lips, but he wasn't willing to allow it through. "I figured out what the numbers are." He showed her the phone, and he had written down the six numbers. "They're the number for the letters in her name. Gracie."

"I knew that you'd figure it out, Booth." Her words were soft and tender, and she didn't want to coax any more from him, because the fact that he had figured this out was a big enough step. "Are you alright?"

"I…"

"Booth, it's alright."

"Grace was premature," he whispered. "Parker… and Antonia, they… they called me, you were having the baby early." He watched her nod her head. There was a sense of excitement in his eyes. "They knocked you out for the birth because you were in pain. I was there though. I held her."

"You were there through it all, Booth."

"I remember holding her." His hands were cupped to indicate her tiny size. He stared at his hands for a moment. "She was so small, she was just… she was perfect. Bones, I remember being there. I remember Gracie."

Temperance couldn't help but smile a little brighter. The pride for her husband's memory was shining through in the mist of her eyes as she watched him start to pace again. "Booth, it's okay if you don't remember everything right now. It is coming back though. It's alright to pace yourself."

He stopped suddenly and a frown came over his face. "Remembering isn't what is important right now, Bones. I want to remember, I do, but…," he said looking up at her. "I have you, and the girls, Parker… but who does Seeley have fighting for him?"

"I know," she said softly.

"It breaks my heart to see him so broken, Bones. It's not fair. He's just a kid."

"We're fighting for him, Booth," she said, glancing toward the door, she eyed her husband and lifted an eyebrow. "We're not going to let him down."

"It's not up to us, Bones," he said, leaning forward to catch her lips. "It's not our responsibility. You know for a fact that we can't replace the real thing. Screwed up or not, Seeley needs his father, and Jared needs to straighten out."

"Booth, if he's not straightened out now…"

"Bones, he's family. We never give up on family." His voice was a bit gruff, and his eyes were showing that determined stare that seemed to burn through her resolve.

"What happens when he screws up again, Booth?"

"This isn't a case of bailing him out when he's in trouble, Bones. This is a case of making him grow up." Booth walked toward the visitor room again, and had himself buzzed back in. Booth was surprised to see Jared still sitting at the table. He had expected him to have been brought back to his cell when Temperance had left. His eyes caught his brother's, and Booth stood in the doorway for a moment. "Why are you still here?"

"Tempe said that you'd be back in, and to not go anywhere." Jared replied.

Booth felt a twinge in his chest when he realized that Temperance knew what his exact response would be. He suppressed a knowing chuckle and moved forward toward the chair. With no pause, he stepped forward and pulled it back, sitting down on the seat hard.

"I'm sorry." Booth said clearly, watching the confusion in his brother's eyes, he continued without pause. "I'm sorry that I let you down, Jared. I'm sorry that you had to go through my death just like the rest of my family, that you never found out the truth until it was too late. I just wanted to start with that, okay? Every time we've talked since I've seen you has been high stress, with no patience, and I'm sorry for that too."

"Seeley, it's fine." Jared argued.

"No, it's not. Just let me apologize, okay?"

"Seeley…"

"I abandoned you, and I have no excuse for that."

"You didn't abandon me."

"Yeah, I did. I should have found you sooner, Jared. I should have looked harder. I should have been there when your wife died. I should have been there when your son was born. I owe you, alright? I owe you at least enough to get you back on your feet when you get out of here. I owe you enough to watch your son for you, and to protect him. I owe you enough for that, alright? But I'm not going to raise him. That is your responsibility."

"When I get out of here, I'll have nothing."

"You have your family, Jared."

"Tempe hates me."

"So does Ace," Booth said seriously. "You've never let their opinions get in your way before. You were just willing to give up your kid to Bones, but you're saying that you're not strong enough to deal with her?" Booth shook his head. "Don't let her get to you, Jared. She just wants you to try harder. She wants you to want this. Do you want to be Seeley's father?"

Jared watched his brother's eyes and searched for any indication that he would pull back from his offer. "You know, there are a lot of people in this world that would just let me die. Put me out of my misery and taken my son because he'd be better off."

"Yeah? Well… I enjoy torturing you." Booth replied sincerely as he stood up. "We're arranging for Seeley to visit you on Christmas eve. You may want to have your people… call Santa's people… and arrange a few things." Booth said, turning toward the door. "I have to get back home and decorate a tree with my family."

With a quick wave, and a glance to his brother, the door buzzed, and he walked through with nothing more to add.


	26. Must Be Found

**December 22nd-**

The drive toward the house was infused with a gentle, but intense energy between Temperance and Booth, and it was almost as if they could literally feel their connection clicking carefully back into place. He watched the road with a silent peacefulness, and she just reveled in the serenity that settled between them. Neither knew what to say, and for both of them, that was perfectly fine. He pulled the car into the driveway, and stopped with the engine still running.

"I'm still confused," he said, turning his head toward her, his brow furrowed and his dark eyes lightened with a bit of fear. "It's still all jumbled, and a little cloudy. It feels good to know some things, to feel like I am getting better, but I know that I'm not quite there yet."

"I'm not going to rush you, Booth. I want you to get better on your own terms, in your own time." Temperance watched him glance toward the house, and a quiet sigh leaving his body. "You don't have to tell them anything."

"They'll know something is different, Bones."

"They don't worry about things like that. Right now, the only thing on their minds is Christmas, cookies, and putting decorations on the tree. They're easy to please, and they love you." She paused for a second and put her hand on his. "I'll give you a minute."

"Thank you," he smiled.

"But only one minute," she said, squeezing his hand. "And then I am sending out an army of children to drag you into the house."

He laughed. "Okay."

She opened the door and stepped from the SUV, looking back to him. "Sixty seconds."

"I've got it, Bones." He said, watching her eye the keys that were still in the ignition. "Here." He tossed them to her, and she caught them with minimal effort.

She shook her head, and tossed them back. "I know that you're not going anywhere." She smiled and closed the door, walking slowly as she avoided the slippery spots of ice on the sidewalk. Booth watched her careful steps, and wondered what he had done to be so lucky to have someone like her in his life.

* * *

><p>Temperance stepped into the house and found it to be eerily quiet. Usually when Ace would watch the kids, they were chasing their babysitter around the house with plastic swords, and so involved in play, that they wouldn't even notice that she had walked in the house until one of them was 'mortally wounded' and writhing around on the floor. She listened and thought she heard voices upstairs, so she followed the sound, and quietly walked down the hallway. She reached Parker's bedroom, and heard giggling, before she heard Ace's booming voice again.<p>

She opened the door just a crack, and watched her partner as he animatedly told the children of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." His eyes were alight with excitement, and the children were absolutely enthralled with his storytelling. He was sitting on the desk chair and told the story from memory.

His prose was impeccable, and though the words he spoke were often above the comprehension of the children, it was the manor of which he spoke that captivated the children. All four sat cuddled on the bed, Grace was comfortably on Parker's lap, leaning on his arm as she giggled at Ace's production. Seeley sat against Antonia, throwing his head back in a hearty laugh, his cheeks rosy with happiness as Ace leaned in and addressed them.

"It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good-humour." Ace said with a smile.

Temperance wanted to announce her arrival, but felt guilty about taking that moment away, so she took a step back, and turned toward the stairs when she heard the front door open. Quickly, she padded down the steps to Booth, who looked surprised to see her bounding so light footed down the stairs. She held her finger to her lips and reached for his hand, and a smile came to her lips at his expression of confusion.

"What's going on up there?" He nodded, whispering as she pressed herself against him and put her hand over his mouth.

"Ace is telling them a story." She pulled her hand from his mouth and watched his eyes twinkle slightly.

"Ace tells a lot of stories." Booth whispered back.

"I don't want to interrupt them," she whispered.

"We could go back out to the truck and make out," he wiggled his eyebrows, that elicited a light smack on his arm.

"Oh, you're very humorous." She said, eying him as she tugged him toward the kitchen. "We should enjoy this moment of peace while we can."

"Take full advantage." He said, allowing her to pull him around the corner, her lips found his, and he smiled against her kiss. "I love when you're literal."

She pulled from his embrace and flitted toward the refrigerator. "I was thinking more along the lines of getting things ready for dinner." She could see the sensitive disappointment that he tried to keep from her, and watched him for a moment. "Booth?" When his eyes were on hers, she offered him a knowing smile. "I love you."

"I love you."

"Let's take a vacation," she said, catching the thread of confusion that knitted his brow. "We'll pack up the kids, get out of town."

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, walking around the counter toward her, he leaned his back against the counter and pulled her toward him.

"Away."

He furrowed his brow curiously and tilted his head. "Temperance 'Bones' Brennan wants to just pack up and leave town? That doesn't sound like you."

"That is because this is Temperance 'Bones' Booth talking," she whispered, dropping a kiss on his chin. "Are you coming with us, or am I running off with four children on my own?"

"I don't think you could survive," he teased.

"Would you like to place a wager on that?" She asked.

"No way," He said with a smile into her eyes. "I gave up gambling years ago."

She kissed him tenderly and smiled against his lips as they listened to the sound of an imminent plastic sword fight coming in their direction.


	27. Sweet Dreams

Large fluffy flakes of snow fell from the darkened winter sky. The cold breeze blew in gusts against the side of the warm home that was quiet after a melee of activity. The tree decorating had been full of laughter and happiness as the children did their part, and Booth and Brennan watched and helped until it glittered brightly before them. Settling on the couch and on the floor, the family watched several Christmas specials, until the popcorn had been eaten, the hot chocolate had been devoured, and a quiet peacefulness wafted through the air as softly as the snowflakes outside.

Booth was situated on one end of the couch, his youngest daughter's head pressed into his shoulder as she gripped his t-shirt with her tiny fist. His eyes opened slowly when he heard a tender whimper exhale from between her lips. His eyes popped open, and he heard her whimper again. In the glow of the Christmas tree, he spied Temperance sleeping on the other end of the couch, Seeley comfortably sleeping against her, and Parker and Antonia sprawled on the floor.

The blue glow of the television screen gave enough light to illuminate his family, and he felt a rush of warmth in his heart as he took it all in. He was again shaken when Grace's whimper turned into a desperate call for 'Daddy'.

"Hey, Squeaker." He whispered against his little girl, he kissed her tenderly. "Gracie girl," he whispered.

Her eyes flickered open, and her initial expression was of fear. The moment she recognized her father's eyes through her cloud of sleepiness, she smiled. It was a sleepy smile, filled with a coy innocence that gave him a gentle laugh deep in his throat. "Daddy." She whispered.

"Daddy is here, little one. Are you okay, baby girl?"

Grace pushed at her father's chest to sit up a little, looking around at her sleeping family, she turned back to Booth sleepily. "We all fell asleep," she said matter-of-factly. Her expression was filled with humor, and in the dim light of the Christmas tree and the television, her silhouette was a smaller version of her mother's.

"It looks like we did."

"Daddy?" She whispered.

"Hm?" He asked catching her eyes with his, she tugged at his shirt.

"Can Santa leave our presents out on the front porch when he comes?" she whispered.

"The front porch?"

"Yes." Grace looked toward the tree, and back at her father. "I don't want him to break into our house."

He sat up a little, and pulled her onto his lap as he fought a yawn. Her blue eyes sparkled with the colored lights of the Christmas tree. "Santa Claus won't break into the house, baby girl."

"I thought he comes down into the fireplace, daddy." She said, turning her head toward the glowing embers that remained in their fireplace. "That's what the movie says, that's what you told me. I don't want him to break into the house. Can't he ring the doorbell like a normal person?"

Booth tried to think of a response, but his sleep addled brain was slower than his daughter's quick wit. He didn't quite stammer, but he paused, and that was enough for Grace. "Daddy, is Santa real?"

He was taken aback by her question, though ultimately not surprised that it had come at such an early age. With an older brother and sister that both knew the truth, it bothered her that they didn't seem to have the same excitement for the season as she did. She had noticed their whispers, and the way they always looked at her when they mentioned Santa Claus. She had noticed her mother's wary eye whenever he was mentioned. She was young, but by no means was she stupid.

Booth turned her in his arms and faced her toward him. He looked into her eyes and watched as any clouds of sleep that had been present moments before had vanished. She was bright eyed and awake now, imploring her father for the truth. "What do you think?" he whispered.

Her brow furrowed. He was avoiding the question. "I think…" Her eyes narrowed, and she watched the poker face that her father was holding. "I think I love you, Daddy." She smiled when his eyes brightened. She thought it was her words that had warmed his heart and brought the smile to his face, and part of it was that simple. Though what really touched his heart was his daughter's willingness to stay young, and to feign innocence, even in a time when she knew that there was something more to his reply.

"I love you too, baby girl." He whispered, watching her smile in return. Her tiny nose crinkled when she smiled, and her eyes sparkled. Without a word, she leaned forward and wrapped her tiny arms around her daddy's neck, resting her head on his shoulder. He rocked her tenderly, turning his head to kiss her temple, as he found her ear and gently whispered. "Fluffy bunny went to bed. With a kiss his mama said…" He whispered. "Sleep, sleep, sleep, my little bun… tomorrow we'll have a lot more fun."

There was a quiet pause, when he thought that perhaps she had already drifted off.

She shifted her head ever so slowly and nuzzled his neck as her arms held him tighter. "Sweet dreams and jelly beans." Her tiny voice whispered.

"One for you, and two for me." He paused and let the moment pass, holding her against him as if their lives were dependent upon that embrace. He fought the tears that prickled his eyes, and carefully settled against his side of the sofa. She settled with her head against her daddy's chest, allowing the gentle rhythm of his heart lull her to sleep. He kissed her head and watched her for a moment, letting the worry and concern drift from her expression as a small, tender smile adorned her lips. "Sweet dreams, princess Squeaker."


	28. Sleep In Heavenly Peace

**December 25th**

**(Nineteen years later)**

It was a distant sensation at first, the tickling in Booth's nose. The smell of baby shampoo mixed with cherries and peppermint wafted to his senses. When his eyes opened, his view was a messy tangle of curly light brown hair. When he moved his head slightly, he could feel tiny fingers at his chest, rolling the t-shirt he was wearing beneath them. His movement caused the fingers to stop, and the head to lift.

Staring back at him, were two dark brown eyes, bright with curiosity and happiness. "Hi."

Booth smiled tenderly at the little boy, catching the glint of mischievousness in his eyes. "Somebody has been sleeping in my bed…" he whispered.

"Are you gonna huff, and puff, and blow my house down?" the boy whispered, his voice soft with a tinge of humor.

"Wrong story."

"Oh." He smiled. "Merry Christmas, Pops."

"Merry Christmas, Luke." Booth whispered. He rolled onto his back and spied his sleeping wife, their other grandson, Nate was curled up beside her, and she had wrapped her arm protectively around him. "I think we're the only ones awake."

"Me too." Luke whispered back. "Can we see if Santa came, Pops?"

"We should wait for Nate, and Bones, and daddy, don't you think?"

"And Auntie G, and Auntie Toni?" Luke whispered.

"Probably. They did say that they were coming over early today, didn't they?"

"Uh huh," he nodded.

"We may as well just go back to sleep." Booth said, closing his eyes.

"No!" Luke squeaked, sending Booth's eyes wide open in faux surprise, a look of fear flashed over the boy's face and Booth made a face, sending him into a cascade of giggles. "Pops, it's time to get up!"

"What's all of the commotion over there?" Temperance mumbled from the other side of the bed, looking up to see her grandson's curly head poking up from the other side of her husband.

"Someone thinks they behaved enough this year for Santa to visit." Booth replied.

"You mean the boy that put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the scanner?" Temperance replied.

"That was Nate," Luke replied, glancing to Booth. "And it was a fluffernutter sammich."

"Hm…" Temperance nodded sleepily. "I think I need five more minutes of beauty sleep." She mumbled, rolling back over.

"Come on, Bones. You're beauteous enough." Luke replied, crawling over his grandfather, he stuck his lower lip out like a pro, and fluttered his eyelashes.

Temperance opened her eyes, and turned her head, looking at the boy curiously. "Where did you learn that?" she asked curiously, watching the sly smile on the boy's face, she felt the child beside her start to stir.

"Did Santa come yet?" Nate asked, sitting up, he rubbed his eyes and looked around.

"Go get your dad up, and we'll go see." Booth said, as the twins let out a cheerful yell and clamored off the bed, stomping their way out into the hallway and down toward the room where Parker was staying.

"Let them spend the night, you said." Booth mumbled, watching Temperance eye him. "It will be fun, you said. They're only going to be four years old once, you said."

"Oh, stop being an old grouch." Temperance said, rolling over away from him, he instantly put his arm around her and his chin on her shoulder. He pulled her against him and sighed.

"I am not old."

"Don't pretend that you didn't have fun with them last night."

"That was before I had a permanent imprint of a toddler's foot embedded in my spleen," he muttered.

She rolled over in his arms and faced him, leaning forward to capture his lips with hers. They heard the pounding of little feet again and he smiled against her mouth. "We had better get downstairs before the natives get restless."

"You go down and turn the lights of the Christmas tree on," she whispered. "I'll call the girls and make sure they're on their way over."

"That's a deal." He said, rolling out of bed, he stood up and stretched, feeling his bones crackle and pop. He glanced to Temperance, and she gave him a sideways glance that made him glare playfully. "I'm not old." He said, watching her eyebrows lift, he shook his head and turned toward the door.

He stepped out into the hallway and the twins barreled down the hallway toward him. Quickly, he scooped them both up, one on each arm and groaned as his back ached. "Your Pops is getting old." He muttered. "Just don't tell Bones I said that." He said, as both boys put their fingers on their lips and whispered 'shh'. "Ready to go downstairs?" He asked, as both heads bobbed happily, and grins replaced their solemn secret faces.

He smiled and walked down the steps, listening to creaking of the stairs with each step, and remembered the same trip with his girls. He had just reached the bottom of the steps with the boys and over to the light switch for the outlet the tree was hooked to. The gasps of the two little boys brightened his heart as he let out a bit of a laugh. He looked up to see Parker coming quickly down the stairs, his eyes glittering just as they had when he was a little boy.

"It's about time you made an appearance." Booth teased his son as he rubbed his eyes.

"I didn't have much time for sleep." He said, nodding toward the tree, as it overflowed with gifts in it, under it, and around it. Every corner was filled with a brightly wrapped package and the boys wiggled to free themselves from their grandfather's grasp.

"Hey, hey…. Not so fast." Parker said, scooping up Nate, who had already wrangled himself from Booth's arms and was being held by the scruff of his pajamas. "We have to wait for Toni and Grace."

Temperance stepped to the bottom of the stairs and gave Parker a loving peck on his cheek. "You did a very nice job."

"Thanks, Bones."

"Nice job with what?" Luke asked, ever curious to be part of the conversation.

"A nice job with minding my own business." Parker said, taking Luke from Booth as he moved toward the kitchen. "Breakfast first, then maybe my lazy sisters will be here."

"But Daddy, Santa left all of those presents for me!" Nate said, wiggling in his father's arms as Parker went into the kitchen with the two boys struggling.

"I'll go help him." Temperance said, walking toward the kitchen.

"Bones." Booth called, and she turned around. "The girls?"

"Antonia is just leaving, and I couldn't get Grace. She's probably on her way over." Temperance said as she turned and walked into the kitchen. Booth could hear her voice talking to the kids and he smiled, stepping over to the Christmas tree. He crouched by the tree and looked over a couple of the gifts that he had placed there. Every year, each of his children would get something special, something memorable, something meaningful from their father. This year was no exception. Carefully, he placed Grace, Antonia, and Parker's gifts beneath the tree. He was just standing up when the doorbell rang, and he called to Temperance that he'd get it.

He furrowed his brow as he crossed to the door. He saw a police cruiser in the driveway, and didn't think anything of it. Since Grace had graduated from the police academy, it was very common for her to drive over with the cruiser. What confused him, was that she never rang the doorbell. He opened door, expecting to see his daughter's smiling face, and instead was looking into the eyes of a familiar male officer. "Shane?" Booth addressed Grace's partner and boyfriend. "You got here before Grace for once. That's a change of pace." He joked.

"Sir." Shane paused.

Booth could literally feel the color fall from his face when he saw the look in the officer's eyes. He was speechless.

"Sir, it's Grace…" The officer faltered. "She's been shot."

"Booth?" Temperance's voice echoed through the hollow, ringing sound in his ears. "Booth, who is it?"

* * *

><p><strong>The End (of this particular story)<strong>

**The story will continue in a new fic... "The Space in The Soul"  
><strong>

**Thank you for reading. Please review if you have time. I love knowing what you have to say! :)  
><strong>

**And thanks, Ceeray3 and thnx4thegum for the help in finishing this story. Couldn't have done it without you.  
><strong>


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